My fiance is a wonderful guy. He's caring, loving and sweet....

My fiance is a wonderful guy. He's caring, loving and sweet. We are going to get married in 3 months. However, our relationship is starting to go to crap. It's as though he thinks that since he has me, he doesn't even have to try anymore. He doesn't lift a finger around the house. He never wants to go anywhere or do anything. He wants to lay on the couch. Now, I know that part of it is that he has some kind of health issue. He's gone to every doctor, every specialist, had every test and yet they never find what's wrong with him. All this combined, is really putting stress on our relationship. To top it off, we sometimes work opposite shifts and I end up alone at night. We have sex maybe once a month. I do love him and want to marry him, but want to get out of this rut. Any advice anyone can give would be great.
Thanks,
Lisa

My marriage was like what your relationship is now. He never wanted to do anything or go anywhere. His job took him away from home usually half the month. When he was at home he didn't want to contribute to anything or work at our relationship. LIke you said, "It's as though he thinks that since he has me, he doesn't even have to try anymore." That's exactly how I felt when we were married and a little before that. I was so unhappy with him and how he made me feel. I left and never looked back. I am happier w/o him. Don't rush your marriage plans, if this is how he is now, he's not going to change. Talk to him, go to counseling or go to those marriage retreats and figure out if marriage is the right thing for both of you. You may find out that it's not.

Mine even worst. his bad tamper make me 16 years in scare.. i wanna break off, i was hopeless in this marriage, u think i can start a new life? or my life will be ended just like this...?

u should always talk straight to your husband, u should let him know what u feel. being married couple u need to have COMMUNICATION to each other to help to work things out!
dont think divorce is the best way coz in the end u still regret it.
as long as u love each other dont give up!

hey conf...careful...the old posts are 6 months old, so really we are just dealing with Bernice here.

Since her man uses anger rage trips and thinks of women as low life here and pion status, we do not want her to communicate with that. You have to think of this type of man as a disctator who thinks of his wife as an "ant" or a slave to kick around.

Therefore reasonable communication is useless and even worse, frowned upon.

Bernice, you must make a plan because no, you are considered the enemy in this relationship. A dog to kick around. You need to ask yourself....do you want to keep believing in the fear and do you wish for a new life or are you too dependant on this. It will not happen overnight.

You're relationship will not get better.
The question is, do you see a life on your own?
How can you make it a reality?
What are the circumstances?
The dynamics?

Do you have an abused womens help center available.