My girlfriend broke up with me/does she still love me?

To make a long story short, we dated for 6 months and loved eachother to death, this I am sure of. Well since she started her new job she was acting weird, so she breaks up with me one morning saying "shes about to turn 18 and wont be able to do the stuff she want to and doesnt want to be tied down" well all day she was crying at work and came by after work to make up with me saying she was just insecure and was afraid to lose me and was crying for literally an hour or 2 straight. So we get back together and thing seemed fine but we hang out the next weekend and come to find out she is talking to some guy from her work. We go through some drama, she breaks up with me the next day saying "she isnt happy, she loves me but doesnt know what she wants, she doesnt know what love is (i think thats bullshit) and needs to be single and find herself. I am devistated becasue things were GREAT between us before that job and all of the sudden she gets like this. She tells me that she has feelings for that guy but doesnt know if she is gonna date him (for a reference this guy is 26 and has an 8 year old kid, just got out ofp rison after 4 years for a DUI and some other crap and is on probation, and has prison tats all over him sounds like a winner right?) So now She takes me off her myspace and she was on my phone plan so she returned the phone she just got and got a new service and didnt give me her new number and come to see her main default pic is her kissing that guy and her mood says "cant wait for the future" and mood is excited. Well her whole family is pissed at her for doing this because I was the BEST boyfriend to her I treated her like a princess and she goes to this guy?? Does this guy think he can make something happen with a 17 year old girl (almost 18)? Her and her mom are very close and now they are pretty distant because they got into a fight because of what she did to me. Her mom absolutely loves me as her whole family. Her mom asked her if she even cared and was sad and she said "of course im sad, i jsut dont want to be with him" does that make sense?? She also says she is gonna move out soon (we were planning on moving out together within the next month or 2) and pretty sure she is gonna move in with that guy.

What do you guys think she is going through? I feel she still loves me but is confused on waht she is doing right now. Do you think they will last long? What do you think will happen? She wont talk to me at all and i have no way to contact her other than through her mom. Why would she stop talking to me at all?

A bit of her past: had horrible boyfriends before me that would hit her and treat her like crap, yet she would go back to them on more than one occasion, I doubt things will work out with them because of the age difference and that he has a kid and is a loser, plus that she just got a out of a great relationship with me and into one with a guy from WORK that she barely knows

ahawkins welcome to the forum

"make a long story short"???

anywayzzz:

give her some space, man let someone find herself before committing herself...

Thanks for the advice Yeah I believe things will work out for me. I know she probably thinks things are going great now, but when she has to see him everyday. both at work then back at home and live with him, well, I just see that lasting too long. Nobody does that I have talked to. I have a bet made and I think it wont last past christmas. Anyways I have been keeping myself busy and not contacting her whatsoever. I feel a lot better than I did but not 100%. I figure 1 of 3 things will happen, He is gonna start messing around with other girls because thats the type of guy he is and/or he will start treating her like crap. He will get sick of seeing her each and every day and start going to bars/casinos/clubs etc and always be away from her and she will start to get lonely and start thinking of me. And the last thing is she will realize some day here soon that she is losing all the loved ones, including her family, because of this guy and will realize she made a huge mistake... we shall see which one happens. In the mean time, I will be 21 in 2 weeks so I will be living it up and not sit around and wait for her

Well it happened sooner than I thought. I guess her perfect man wasn't so perfect. Her mom text me on Monday (dec 8th) saying she is moving back home that night and is leaving him. I guess he was really controlling (like all of her previous ex's before me) and was actually the worst one! She is happy that she is finally moved back home and glad she left him. I guess he keeps bugging her and she is to the point where she is about to quit (they still work together) She is trying to transfer to another office but isnt sure if they will let her or not. Anyways she hasn't tried to contact me yet. Im sure since she feels so much guilt it will take a lot for her to talk to me again. Her mom says she will probably try to talk to me again because she knows her all too well....the best part of all this is that when she came home she told her mom "I should have listened to you" her mom has been right about everything so far, even about me being the best thing that happened to her and what not. Wonder how/if she will try to get me back? If she does we have a long talk ahead of us and im gonna make her know im not just gonna take her back...

Man, girls en thier JOBS! im going through the same thing...the first part of your story is relatively like mine's, what i think is that, as my ex told me...just focus on your life..then if the cards are played right, then you guys are meant to be.. i mean, shes still young, she probably wants to make mistakes, feel cool or smt... but screw that, us guys will never understand that! so just take it easy!

Don't give her a hardtime! Just be cool!

What does that mean just focus on your life is that a coded message from an ex? Thats the words my ex texted me when she left just get on with your life. DOH please tell i'm a guy i need to understand it please its driving me carzy!!!!!

Dude this is really wierd and im glad i seen this post cuz the exact damn thing just happened to me ,my girl that ive been with for four years ,started dating her when i was 17 she was 14, just now turned 18 got a new job as a police dispatcher broke up with me randomnly said she loves me but we need to be broken up right now for some reason.........and her mom is very pissed b-cuz i treated her like a queen and she just dumped me out of no where.......she also like yours had alot of crappy relationships before ours and we loved the hell out of each other until she got that damn job... and now i found out she started dating this jackass who works at a tattoo parlor....completely tattooed all over his arms and everything ,has a kid who he's not paying child support on, and the worst part is ............he's 32 years old and homeless =/.......what the hell....so yeah now her family doesnt like her at all and she hasnt talked to me in a little over 2 weeks now...but im not to worried cuz im 21 and am free to do as i please for the time being until she pulls her head out of her ass cuz no one else can seem to do it for her....o and another thing...its really funny cuz he's already being a complete and total mega-dick to her so im pretty sure i dont have anything to worry about but anyway's good luck with your's just know your not alone O_O

Well a lot has changed since I last posted, she left him and moved back home, and we were friends on and off for al ittle bit but now she realized her mistake and now we are back together. We are gonna try to work through it but i feel like this time it will be a lot better. She told me I am the only guy she ever pictures marrying and etc..so we will see how it goes. Dont worry c-mac since i jsut went through it i can tell you she WILL come back to you, its jsut a matter of time. Keep your head up it will work out for you

hey sadbhoy,

when she says focus on your life, do the things which you feel makes you happy, care less about her, don't involve her with your plans, do your thing, if theres a job that you really like, do it, if there is this passion you want to fulfill, go ahead and do it, sometimes, girls feel like, damn, im doing my thing, yet this guy isn't doing his, and she might feel guilty in the end, so yea, do your thing, make it attract her and see ho good you are...then yes, she might get interested, and see that you don't need her, but simply want her....

Thats what i think

Well this might be my last post on this thread...

So as you guys know me and her got back together because she said she made a huge mistake and still loved me and im the only guy she sees marrying and what not...so i thought.

Well she is almost 4 months pregnant right now and me and her officially got back together on March 20th so not that long ago while she was still pregnant. Things were going fine until a couple of days ago she started acting weird, like always picking fights about little stuff and what not. This continued and only got worse, I went the whole day yesterday without even talking to her. So i tried to be in this babys life but she kept pushing me away from everything and told me this morning that she didnt want me to come to the doctors when she finds out what it is cuz she just wants her and her mom to go...So i had it after that i text her saying i love her and no response at all...so i did what i had to do, called her and broke up with her (it was on a voicemail because she didnt answer) she finally text back saying if thats what i want then fine and little etc stuff about the phone bill and then saying she wasnt happy either so shes glad we agree on that (bitch). Finally ask her why she did all that like make me go through that again and she basically told me that she did it cause it made her mom and grandma happy but she wasnt happy, i did nothing wrong but she isnt happy and she just wants to be alone and raise her baby because thats all she wants in life. She also said that the reason she left me for that guy was to try something new but said it was a huge mistake because he is an asshole. So i mean thats what I was left with i just told her it was pretty fucked up to make me go through a relationship like that when it was all a lie. I dont know if she is saying some of these things because she is pregnant and her hormones are all out of whack or what because i dont know what to believe anymore...Im not telling myself that just to give me a little more hope but I have heard women say crazy ass things when they are hormonal and pregnant and after they have the baby they go back to normal and cant beleive they acted that way. So I dunno..................

The thing with women, and i think most men will agree, is that when they know or think that you cant live without them they will take advantage of it. Never ever show your women any weakness. If you keep trying and trying to get a reply from an angry women that says she doesnt want to talk, they wont respond. But if you just lay back and pretend you dont give a fuck (but your really dying inside) their minds start to realize what life is like without you. The women now days are over stepping the boundaries. Us men have to be strong, stand up and get our power back. Why waste your time and love on a women who who doesnt fell the same for you. Just be strong man, I am going through the same thing right now. I keep telling myself, Be a man and harden up. It really helps you get through the day.

lance is spot on .if you constantly pester a woman by text,phone call or even turning up places in hope of bumping into heryou are pushing her further away.Once you have no contact with them for a couple of weeks your giving the girl the chance to realise that she has lost you and believe me you they will start too miss you and will contact you.

Yeah i agree but when they know you are totally in love with them, its different we all can survive on our own but we can't all survive a broken heart and some peolple never experience true love or the broken heart. Women are the leaders when it comes to head games the masters of the game..

Im in the same boat but my ex didn't cheat and just said she needed time to find herself and be single for a bit. But I told her last week I miss her and she said I know I miss ya too. I said you do? and she said well of course I do. Well I told her that she could get at me when she felt like it and she told me she wants me to contact her first. Now why would she want me to be the first to initiate a conversation? About 2 weeks ago she text me out of the blue to say she feels bad that billy mayes died cuz we both always made fun of him. Now why would she bother to tell me that if there wasnt feelings for me still. She told me she doesn't want to date anyone else but just needs time and that she loves me more than anything and has never been in love with a guy til she met me. I'm gonna play the no contact thing though cuz Im sure it will bother her a lot and she will get at me. We were together for 7 months and have been broken up for about 1 month and a week. Some input from you all would be greatly appreciated but I just know she is still very in love with me and I have never loved a woman like this ever. She also always told me she could see herself being with me for the rest of her life and that nobody ever sexually satisified her until me or made her as happy.

What was the reason for the breakup?

She broke up with me just saying that it wasnt anything I did but she justs needs to find herself and be single for awhile. She said its just shes been fucking up all her relationships with everybody and itaa not fair to me. But she said it doesnt mean its over forever. But b4 she broke it off she said she needed space and I gave it to her. Should I just back off and let her come around again cuz she says she misses me too and for some reason she wants me to be the person to contact her first.

Well, you can send a little text. That way, she will still have her space and you will have contacted her first as well.

She also just recently said she isnt sure if she could date someone her parents aren't crazy about and I don't understand cuz while we were going out they were crazy about me and she said she doesnt wanna tell me why they arent crazy about me but they do think I'm a good guy. I asked her if she would wanna go to a concert together next month and she said she doesnt think itd be a good idea cuz of her parents. I don't understand what I did wrong cuz I treated her really good I dont know if she told them we had sex or what to make me look bad. But I offered to talk to them and she said she doesnt know if I should. She tells me she misses me sometimes and other times when I say it she just says I know. I don't understand why sometimes she tells me that and other times she wont say anything or just say I know. Last time we talked which was about 3 days ago she acted so excited to talk to me and was putting exclamation points after everything she wrote me. I just dont know if since she wants me to contact her first its becuz she wants me to chase her or what. But if I leave her alone for like 2 weeks or so would that most likely make her think about me and miss me more? If she doesn't contact me during that period should I send something? I just dont know it seems as though she is confused and trying to hide her feelings sometimes.

Sorry bout that long ass story I just posted I'm just so confused.

Not contacting her could either make her miss you or get used to the separation. You have known her for seven months and have had this breakup for over a month. What has she been leaning towards?

So I should just occasionally contact her? How often I mean its been 3 days? I mean she hasnt been leaning towards anything shes just been saying I'm not saying we will get back together but I'm not saying we wont.

How did she deal with separation when you two were together?

B4 we broke up? When I gave her space? Well it hurt her really bad and she said she hoped we could make it work and everything.

I meant before the breakup. Considering that she did it, you shouldn't ignore her unless you want to convince her that she did the right thing. She wants to contact you, but doesn't want to jump into anything. So think of if as though you two were dating. She's figuring what she wants while she expects you to be somewhat available.

She acted fine like she was just so in love with me. She would tell me like every second she loved me and she said a little bit b4 we broke up that I was a little too self conscious and it bothered her but she is very self conscious too. She also said I was coming off a little too strong and she was feeling a little smothered.

So does that mean that she wants to be in charge then?

So basically I should contact her since she told me to but just like every other day or something. I mean obviously she wants me to talk to her if she told me to get in contact with her first.

Well, she said that she wanted you to contact her but she also said that you were smothering her. Either way, it looks like she is calling the shots regarding contact.

Yeah but she recently said she wanted me to contact her first like 3 or 4 days ago and the smothering think was right b4 we broke up which was over a month ago.

Yeah, you see? She is telling you what to do. I guess if you want to do the same thing though, then it's just a matter of doing it.