my girlfriend cheated on me and stayed with the other guy

my girlfriend had cheated on me for 2months and i found out 5 days ago she dumped me and stayed with the other guy she said we can be friends but i really want to win her back and i have no idea how to can someone please answer my question im desprate to win her back...


please answer

She cheated on you and dumped you. Why do you want her back?

because i really love her and scince she cheated on me and picked him over me ive been thinking of rather suicide murder the other guy or just never talk to her again and i really love her i dont wanna ever lose her

like her names Jessica and we have been together since December 9th 2008 and i loved her very much till 5 days ago when i found out she was cheating on me know since the other guy lives like millions of miles away from her she sends him pictures of her naked and stuff and the day she dumped me i was going to surprise her by going to her house and asking her to marry me until then i found out she cheated on me and it all got ruined since then ive gone back to drinking doing weed all the time my music is know horrible i have lack of eating trouble sleeping and its not beautiful dreams enymore there nightmares all the time and i really want her back me and her had a connection i mean my docter said that i have this werid thing that when im in love with someone for a while i get a connection and i feel it when they cheat on me or do enything i just always have dreams about it and it had gone on for 2months and i have no idea on what to do about it and i dont ever wanna lose her shes beautiful HOT and i wanna spend the rest of my life with her i mean everyday she asked me if i loved her and i always said yes i love you very much and she would say it to but then i asked her the other day if she still loved me and she said no and in the wedding ring i got her it says "Jessica i will always love you" ive gotten her alot of presents like i got her a car and all these very nice and expensive things to give her then she dumped me and im a very careing and loveing man i really care about her and i want her to be happy she said she left me mostly because i was never around i was always at work and all that stuff but that's not the real truth and i need to find out


please take your time to answer my question

Suicide will mean losing your chances to love again. There are other experiences to have. Do you want to be happy again? Then stay alive to take your chances. There are others who would probably appreciate you more than she is right now.

Murder will probably scare her away. If you do love her, then you'd want her to be with someone who makes her happy. Right now, that guy makes her happy. I don't think you'd want to take her happiness away from her.

You can choose to ignore her, but that is a hard thing to do. Don't show the wedding ring to her at this time because she is being distracted by this other guy. Talk to her and ask her why she left you. That will help answer some of your questions. Even this guy is far away, maybe there is something that he does that she didn't see you doing. She already knows your feelings, so let her decide what she wants.

me and her play this game called world of warcraft thats how we met i lived in flordia im 17 shes 16 and she lived in canada know i went to canada and found out i leave for another 2years because im to young to travel by myself thats wat they said know im here and i take her to school drive her to places buy her things go to lunch dinner and breakfeast almost everyday i walk her into school and out i take care of her but we are still not together again and its been 5days and im dieing here man i mean its killing me very slowly and painfully i mean its just makeing me feel very bad i havent talked to her today because shes at work but at 5pm today i pick her up from work i wanna take her out to this fancy restaurant and talk to her why she left me we have talked about it and stuff i mean right know im working on my band working all the time and thats what i think went wrong with our relationship but still she understands that im doing this because of her im waiting for american idol next year and ima be in it so me and her would be able to live a very good life with kids until this happens and my life has been like really bad since that happened i mean i feel like i cant ever again make her happy and i dont know wat to do with my life enymore since she left me i mean i just made this new album of songs that i redid like baby come back and first time also your beautiful and hanging by a moment and also ive learned i miss you and it's still not enough i mean if i cant win her back with so many love songs i dont know how to win her back enymore thats why i joined this website today

You have shown her how important she is to you, but she doesn't see that because she's involved with this guy. She isn't receiving your attention in the way you would like, so focus on yourself for a while.

Gee, there is just so much wrong going on here.

First, no 16-year-old is ready for marriage. Neither is a 17-year-old for that matter.

It's obvious she's not as into you as you are into her. When you went to Canada, was that the first time you met in person? You come across kind of scary stalkerish and that could be what put her off.

Next, no amount of sappy love songs is going to win her back. That you think it would speaks to your own maturity level.

Suicide? Murder? I think you need to back up like 500 feet and seek the help of your local mental heath professional. These thoughts are not good for you or her.

smile once in front her tell her i used hate u ... wat do u made me like and love u ... in example i took some shit put on my face ...

God, learn to use punctuation!

hey. you still there? this is maybe not going to come out like i would like it to. but feeling intense rage is a very important part of getting over a horrible event like this. it's a situation you have no control over, and it sucks, and it's really scarey.

you are young. so young. this is your first time feeling this. but, you need to feel this now. because some day the right woman is going to come along, and your going to appreciate her. because she won;t make you feel this way.

if you really want to try to win your ex back, the most surefire way is to ignore her for now. concentrate on yourself. curiosity always brings back the cat. but, if you talk about suicide/murder you are going to scare her away

so. if you love her, despite the bad things she did to you, and you want to win her back, than you need to realize, it won't happen today. maybe not tomorrow, maybe it will take a month of hard work. but giving her space, and concentrating on yourself is the only way.

i am concerned about your feelings right now. please let me know if you are still considering suicide and or murder.

i hope it was just an expression of your hopeless anger. if not, you need our help. your mom's help, your friends help. you need to reach out right now, because you have these deep feelings that you can't deal with on your own. that's ok. no-one wants you to go through this experience on your own.

Honestly... I have a girlfriend that I have been dating over a year and a half.. One night she began crying and left earlier. (BIG SIGHN) She went to her friends that night. The next day she was texting me all caught up in the moment for cheating on me last night with some druggy guy. I pretty much told her to never talk to me again. She told me it was only kissing but still your trust is lost. I find out later that day she tried to commit suicide. The sad part is that when I found out she was ok she was still talking to the guy she cheated on me with!.. I forgave her for it too after a couple days i figured it was just kissing. I come back to school and after a few days they are holding hands.. she ended the relationship saying i put her on too much of a guilt trip and i cant let it go. He asked her to be her boy.. and rejected him which made me happy but.. still she took pictures that night with him and smoked weed with him..Honestly I do not know why but a month later she came crawling back telling me she wants to make things right.. right now she is asking my permission to go to a rave.. Should i let her go.. I took her back and I havent heard any bad news the past months and it seems to be going well but.. i do not think going to a rave with out ME.. is not a good idea. Pleas some one help. What would you do in this situation? should I tell her i dont feel like its fare for me?.. Im not jellous im just scared she will cheat on me..

Well, let her go then. See if she cheats on you or not. Not letting her go won't give any answers.

Well she went.. and I have not found anything bad... One thing that bothers me though is that she likes drugs... Do you have any idea how i can get her to not do drugs. Any advice on this? because it bothers me and I told her that it does. She always asks me if she can with her friends and i say its either me or drugs.. but i have not heard anything from her for a while about drugs... do you think she does them behind my back? Also how can I get her to stop?...

She will stop if she cares about you or at least herself. Maybe she does them behind your back, but then how would you know anyway? Wait until something bad happens before you call her out on anything.

haha.. Figured you would say that. Can i also say thank you for your help which probably means meaningless to you. Well honestly I am a man who is not into drugs and parties. Having a partner who is doing drugs in a relationship is unhealthy for both right? Think of you in my shoes of what you have read...I do love her. But to me...if she chooses drugs behind my back or such...is that fare to me and can i live with it; because honestly it does bother me.. another thing that bothers me is that she has cheated. and right now she keeps talking about this other girl Kim...saying i have a thing for her.. which i dont even talk to her. She assumes I do. She also brings up all my other x. Is this normal? haha. Thank you again for your time.

Oh, it's nice to be thanked. I think that she is trying to get you to say that you want to be with someone else so that she can get some negative attention off herself from having cheated. Is this the same cheating that you mentioned earlier with the "druggy guy"? Just think about how much she is willing to save the relationship and see if she is worth the trouble.

Yes it is the same guy... Should I give her time? or continue like nothing happened. She also has cheated once in her past relationship.. She told me she was drunk though...

Is she someone you feel like trusting? I would say be slow about things between you two because she has some nerve trying to make you look like the bad guy.

Honestly.. I have some trust... but not all my trust. I feel like she lost my trust.. its been months...but she went to a rave this weekend like i told you before. also tomoro im suppose to go to the park to have a water fight deal with her and friends.. should I not go? I feel like she doesnt appriciate me...I also feel like Im doing all the work in the relationship...I always say sweet things about her... Im sweet to her and always give her all my time... should I space off a little? Because right now im in love and confused what to do for once

Love has got to go two ways. You sound like you're worshipping her and she is just leaving crumbs. How long has she been taking you for granted?

It seems like for about 6 months or so it seems like.. since December

Did anything happen around December?

Hey... I told her how i felt... and she tried to put me on a guilt trip about it and that such..Tried to bring up another girl kim for some reason. I told her that it was not about kim or me coming to see her. I told her it was about how i felt.. And said i think we need to improve on it because im not satisfied... I ended up going to see her.. and there was a big difference that i could tell with her treating me better... I have a guy friend who is has a sister.. My girlfriend is friends with her and I am friends with the brother.. I asked him about the night after the rave coming home and he said she was clean from drugs.. so hopefully she does care how i feel. She is actually talking to me more meaningful it seems like to me.

You said that she is treating you better but bugged you again about Kim. Didn't you mention that earlier? At least she's not drugged up again. You're going by "seems", so let me know when she does something that's more than not getting into trouble again.

Step back realize your emotions can control your mind or you can learn to sit back and let them pass when they are negative. 16 is young and this will pass. Focus on yourself your music (heart break has inspired much music but maybe save that for later)
Give yourself time to grieve. Do one want suicide that just want to end their current suffering. Remember before you met you could be happy and you will again. You'll met someone better not exactly like her but you will be surprised how they are often better in there own unique way and how you were under a powerful spell that made you think they were so great. You don't see flaws and you imagine in them everything you ever wanted. Unfortunately this is mostly your projecting these qualities on them. There is no one person for you only possible good or bad relationships and the only way to know is to try each person who seems right.

Go out with friends and enjoy the company of people other than your ex don't think about her too much after you have taken some time to be devastated sad cry if feel like and move on. Once start geting over it (takes a couple years but gets better in a few months the more you focus on other things and people you stay moved. Get rid of things that remind you of her. I you see a beautiful women imagine yourself with her realize your ex was not the perfect women or the only one. The fact she cheated is proof she wasn't so great after all. When you look back some day you will wonder what the big deal with her was anyway.

I had a very similar experience 10 years ago when I was young. I know exactly what you're feeling mate because I have a similar personality as you. Most guys seem to shrug it off and find another chick, but some guys (such as ourselves) are a little more sensitive to these things and fall for certain girls in a big way. I was cheated on and dumped exactly the same as you in college and I went through everything that you talk about. All I can say is that you've got to hang in there. It's pain, a lot of pain, but it's useful pain you can use to build yourself. Don't expect it to go away magically, it never does, I still feel it whenever I think about her even today, the first girl to screw you over stays with you forever, that's a part of life that every man on the planet has to endure to make us a man. That's the power that the opposite sex has over us unfortunately. This girl loves you, but she (and you) are also very young, it's not a mature love, both for her and for you, you're just discovering what love is about (and the pain that it can be about also) Her love for you is/was very juvenile, she just brushed you off for another guy is proof of this, she's reached the age where she's finally realised that she has some power over the male species with her beauty, so now that's she discovered this she's going to play the fields for a while until she grows up and sits back and realises what she's doing. Until she develops more maturity there is nothing you can do about it mate, you're just going to have to let her go and work on developing your own maturity in another relationship. You've fallen for this girl big time and it's a new learning experience for you also to fall in love. Take it from me, you will find someone better, someone faithful, someone way hotter. You will always feel for this previous girl, but you will mature and learn to realise what the relationship was, and you will be happy again. But give yourself a few years, none of this happens overnight. good luck

Hey dude.

it happened to me too man. what can i say?

some people just dont cherish their love ones then they dont deserve it.

It been an year for me. I am still with my girl, but at times i still dont trust her especially when she is around that same dude. THing is for me, she has to they are class mates.

I know for sure for sure they arent cheating, but fact is that, in my head, it hurts.

Almost an year... ive calmed down... ive realized there are a lot of other girls out there for me.

I still love her though, so i guess that is my story, im maturing this way; but you dont have to; because it is painful; but she understands too. I will make myself happy again. thats for sure.

keep it up man. love is painful but it is sweet most of the time.

=)

You have every right to feel frustrated. Many people including myself felt that pain. Myself recently as well. I was angry so I told the guy she is/was (dont know) with. Thought it would make me feel better, but it didn't help. Hanging out with your friends or families is the best way to deal with. Remember she was never the source of your happiness. You are the only one who can create happiness. I think it is all about focus. I think you should embrace the feelings you are currently having because they will give you the change you need. Get out there and enjoy. Hopefully it will never happen again to you. It happens to us all one time or another. Good luck. You don't deserve to be second best, so be the best, have faith and stand tall. Good things will come.

I am just giving you my experience of my story. After her cheating on me. It has been about a year now. I choose to forgive her and give her another chance. Personally it was a mistake on my part. I can not give the thought out of my head. Plus i felt like i deserved better. My friends also told me that. She never hung out with my friends or me when invited so therefore i would always have to treat her like a queen. If your girl cheats on you. Leave it in the past and find a new future. I am just giving those advice. There are other girls who will respect you and apreciate. I ended it with her. Its been about a week. Im doing better though i think. I seem to look at things differently at life.