My Husband’s Ex Has Constant Car Wrecks!!!!

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Car Accident on K-10

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My husband is an auto body mechanic. My husband’s ex girlfriend comes from a large family. She has a few sisters and her parents are still alive. She has two daughters, as well.

Now, here’s the problem. Believe me I’m not exaggerating. Every other week, someone in her family has a car accident which involves damage to the body of a car. Every time this happens, my husband’s ex calls him and asks him if he could either pick up the car from her house or if she could drive the car down to his shop. Today, she called my husband and told him that one of her two daughters had a major car accident yesterday with a brand new Jeep for which she had paid $33,000 (with a car loan, of course). My husband tells me that this particular daughter is a bad driver. Well, for crying out loud, if she is such a bad driver, how does she manage to get these car loans when all she does is wreck cars?

The whole thing is beginning to make less and less sense to me as time elapses. Considering that she had told me two weeks before our wedding that, when she lost my husband to me, she had lost the “love of her life”, I believe she is trying to come between me and my husband.

My ex-bf contacts me on a regular basis too. But, he always calls her or sends me instant messages when my husband is home. He wants to remain in contact with me because we’ve always been very close, but he doesn’t want to do anything behind my husband’s back.

She, on the other hand, NEVER calls him here at home. She only calls him at his place of business. I asked him to suggest that she call him here, but she uses the excuse that she doesn’t want to bother him at home. My take: She just wants to maintain an independent relationship with my husband. And, the only way she knows how to get his attention is to either tell him she is dying of cancer or that she or a family member had wrecked another car.

It has gotten to the point of ridiculousness, if you ask me. I mean, how often can people have car accidents which involve BODY work? The awful part is that my husband doesn’t see the pattern... he doesn’t see that she is trying to get him back and that she is trying to come between us.

Even when she saw something about me on LinkedIn, a business networking site, she made some off the cuff remark about the nature of my “business” - aside from being a foreign language teacher, I’m a pianist/vocalist, implying that I might be a closet stripper!!!!

I’ve already mentioned on this site that my husband and I have sexual issues caused by his excessive watching of ***** and also by what I call his “perfectionism.” He finds it impossible to make love to me unless I position myself in the same position every single time we have sex. And, sometimes I don’t quite get it right and nothing happens. It makes me wonder if, although he and I are attracted to each other and enjoy each other’s company immensely, if something is going on between him and his ex. He totally denies that he and she are still intimate, but I often wonder. I know I’m somewhat insecure, but, considering the fact that he and I have sexual problems and considering the fact that she constantly has car problems, I really have to wonder about things.

Have you ever heard of a situation like ours? I’d welcome any comments you might have.

So... what do you think? Please leave me a comment or give me a


  • gummybears: Car wrecks are part of the pattern with adults who suffer ADD.
    not sure if this applies... but ADD is also hooked to P use.
    seriously. :)
    I’m not kidding even with all the happy faces.
    I’m constantly hitting my cars and crashing cars, always have. My concentration and attention for driving only works well if I’m speeding. otherwise I will fall asleep at the wheel.
    I watch people on the street when driving slow....this leads me to veer where I’m looking.
    and crash.
    I have a history of this and have tried my best to overcome it and have to some degree... but its still there and can only maintain driving well for certain amounts of time before I have to switch drivers or stop driving. I learned how to drive for long periods of time by playing PlayStation GT2 race game. I chose the long races. this helped my concentration for driving.
    believe it or not. :)
  • gummybears: damaged cars are an everyday thing for me. I seem to avoid big car wrecks tho. My ex used to be in major collisions requiring ambulances every few years. I have gone decades without major accidents but constantly am putting nicks and dent on any vehicle I drive. much less now that I’m older, but still frequent.
  • Molly Bain: Genie, she sounds like a pain in the *ss, why don’t you just tell your husband how much it bothers you? Don’t you think he’ll understand?
  • Genieinabottle: gummybears: I don’t know what it is, but maybe she and her daughter both have ADD — the odd thing is that my husband’s ex-wife died in a car crash, too. Do I see a pattern here?
    Molly: She is a pain in the *ss, and my husband understands to some degree. But, it doesn’t help that she is also allegedly dying of cancer. If the cancer part is true, then I can understand his having empathy for her.
  • Molly Bain: You should trust him Genie, he chose you over her after all, and from what you tell about him he sounds like a decent harmless guy who loves you and won’t hurt you. At least try to give him a credit. You are allowed to hate her guts though ;) I’m pretty sure she’s aware of her lameness and that must be the real reason why she wouldn’t call him at home, she’s ashamed!
  • gummybears: Hey genie, I was wondering if the next time they show up and need a car fixed.... what if after the car was fixed, and the keys were handed over...if she got a bus pass too?
  • Genieinabottle: Molly, I’m trying my hardest to trust him. It doesn’t help at all that MY ex keep suggesting that there’s something going on between my husband and this woman. I can’t say I hate her guts but I can only trust her as far as I can throw her, as they say because she is always trying to discredit me. The last time she found out I was in the entertainment business, she insinuated to my husband that I was a "pro" - ouch. Maybe she is ashamed to call him at home after all the trouble she caused. I don’t believe my ex, though. He is just trying to get ME riled up and perhaps back.
  • Genieinabottle: gummybears, I’m just wondering what she would do with a bus pass? I think a slow boat to China would be more appropriate.
  • gummybears: haha!
  • Molly Bain: Genie, both your ex’s are a problem, maybe you should fix them with each other so they’d leave you two alone ;)
  • Genieinabottle: Molly, believe me, Gary and I discussed this possibility, but, unfortunately, neither party is interested in the other ... sigh.
  • Molly Bain: LOL
    At least you tried :)
  • Genieinabottle: Yup.. We certainly did!
  • Samridhi: I was preparing for an entrance exam for MBA but could not convert my interview call despite having decent score and one day I went to a coaching institute to again start my preparation.. The instructor was very nice and was very caring ... After 3 months , when I met him alone for my tension about the exam, he hugged me and said GOD will help. After half an hour we again were alone and I kissed him but he did not reciprocate neither he sent me back home.
    After 1 hour, I called him telling that other students are waiting for him, he said that I should not test him and he is a boy and he wont be able to control himself. When he came back I told him that I feel very bad that I forced myself to you and I am feeling very bad about it.. He took me to his other office and we had sex... It was my first time and he broke my hymen and later he washed that sheet himself.I forgot about exams and was very happy with him but he used to talk to his ex who according to him left him..I had a small incident in childhood so i thought I was not virgin but when we had sex and I realized that I was a virgin I hated myself a lot.. Ours was a relationship in which I was too young to understand a relationship and i wanted to somehow get through MBA program which didnot happen.. I somehow tried to work hard for our relationship but deep in my heart I was hurt because he was still talking to his ex sometimes just after we had sex and he was always very caring for others so throughout our relationship I never had respect for him nor for myself.. Whenever we fought I used to go and make out so that he would calm down so it made my habit that he can be calmed down with sex... I was generally disrespectful to him due to things which I considered flirty. After 2. years I got a new job and also got through MBA program and I joined the Program in a very prestigious B-School. Now it became long distance relationship but I used to visit him once in 2 months or sometime in a month and we used to have sex.. Throughout the courser of our relationship he used to talk to a lady who was once an employee at his office and she was divorced. In january 2013, this girl got married due to family pressure and he cried a lot and said to me that I think I am in love with this girl and behind my back he started talking to her and that girl told him every thing that her husband is not good and how he forced her to have sex...
    In March when I came back from school I saw his message sent to that divorced then married girl which said Love I am seeing your cleavage.. I got angry and we fought again. I asked him to reveal our relationship to this girl but he was not ready and then he started talking to her in front of me which made me crazy and I broke my laptop in front of him because he didnot want to her about both of us. We reconciled when he said that he knows that he is wrong and he just need some time.. # weeks back when I told him my plan to go for a friend’s wedding he also made a plan to visit that lady in another city without telling me... I got to know and he shouted at me that its for work but we he came I saw their pictures and got angry and decided to confront him but he said it is not like what it seems.. I called that lady that why are you behind a person even when you are married? she told this to my bf and he got very angry and asked me to leave his life and not to call him ever again.. When I asked him to give me the justification of what he was doing behind my back then he said that In 4 years of relationship he never got respect from me and now he is feeling what love and respect is from that lady and it might be wrong but he just want to be that lady.. I am betrayed and I know that I have never gave hime respect but I have always cared for him was with him when his entire office was robbed by his ex and others.. Supported him monetarily as much as I could... All I got in return was Betrayal ...
    I did not talk to him for 3 days ,he then texted me - Wheres u, Call?(my phone was switched off) when I called he said he was worried for me and then cut the call.. Next day he again texted keep me updated about ur whereabout and call me once a day atleast and he is talking to that lady also..
    Dont know what to do.. It was my first relationship and I was angry with myself for having sex with him and I didnot respect myself so I could not respect him...
    Please help what to do?

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