No Contact? Guys Vs. Girls?

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Tired of TomorrowsCreative Commons License courtesy of ArtbyVeda

I read this today, and I’m interested to hear what you all think of it. This is not my original thought, but it does include my thoughts on it. When it comes to breaking up, girls and guys think very differently.

Girls use emotions: If she’s angry, she’s more likely to dump you. Or if she’s really upset. She’s also more likely to stay with you if she knows that she still loves him. Girls are more likely to (at least temporarily) forgive cheating to salvage the relationship. They are more likely to sacrifice their own happiness for the person they love.

Guys use logic: Guys are more likely to dump someone based on logic, that logic will tell them how they feel. He’ll dump you because you cheated, you cheated, so he logically shouldn’t care anymore, leading to a break up. Or I don’t have time for her, if I don’t make time for her, I must not feel the same. Guys will see their actions as a reflection of their feelings. Another example is if it becomes stressful to hang out with you, or stressful to find time with you, that stress will lead them to believe they don’t feel the same. Guys are more than twice as likely to say “I don’t love you anymore.”

Now I can’t speak from a guys perspective... But I tried to forgive cheating for a guy I thought I loved, and I finally grew a pair and ended it for my own good.

This concept extends into No Contact:

When a girl is the Dumpee: When a girl has been dumped, no contact is incredibly hard at first. But when she gives herself enough time, this distance will help her move on.

When a guy is the Dumper: When a guy has dumped a girl, and she doesn’t contact him, he is more likely to reflect on his emotions, rather than logic like he did for the initial break up. He is more likely to text the dumpee to meet up as long as there was no extreme cause for breaking up. Or no major mess during the break up.

One thing I can say to support that theory, I went on a few dates with a guy, he never got back to me, then 9 months later he hit me up to meet for lunch. At the break up I was really hurting, but by the time he texted me I just laughed a little because I was so over him and how jerky he acted.

When a guy is the Dumpee: When a guy has been dumped, they’re more likely to not make any contact for a few days because their ego has been hurt. Then they will start trying to make contact.

When a girl is the Dumper: It is twice as likely that she’s already slightly interested in someone else. It’s more likely to be a fundamental reason (love) rather than a logistics (being busy) issue. No contact is less likely to work on a girl.

Now I’ve never been interested in someone else when I ended a relationship, but I’ve also never had a guy use no contact on me so it’s a little harder. Although, that being said, after the first few days of No Contact I really take a leap forward in healing, I could assume the same would be true had I been the dumper. In fact being the dumper would give me a head start.

Anyway, I read that theory today, and I’m interested to hear other peoples thoughts on the matter. =). I haven’t decided if I believe it or not.

So... what do you think? Please leave me a comment or give me a


  • Sigi: I think it depends on the person’s character so I don’t think a theory can apply here.What did you think of it when you read it?
  • LyssaBugg: I thought it was an interesting idea. But I do think it depends on the situation of the break up, and the personalities of both parties. I mainly thought it was good to point out that the No Contact rule can effect people differently; there’s no hard and fast rule that applies to everyone.
  • Debbie1: Sometimes when a guy dumps a women it is due to faxes he has found some one else and it is agree to from because they may not see eye to eye but I would ever take one man back and this is the man that he says all of my stuff is in storage and he is the only man that I want for the rest of my life .but when they get mad it is more than likely that so you don’t never want to end it like that because they will try to make side that you know he is their for you and he will make him self known.I have been with some vary hand some men but they have some very some good things about them but just didn’t work out ,I found out they were cheaters and their is only 1 man I believe and in my heart I could ever be with it is the man that has my stuff in storage .
    This is who I love with total heart but would he be willing to take me back after all of the stuff that has happened and life is to short and forgiveness is all know we need to share because just can’t let him walk out of my world it is here the feelings
    So if any body was to tell me I would get married he is a very man because I ‘am a very ,very luck person to have a man that loves me as well.but of all of everything I think he just needs to come home where he lives with me and move it back in and I will figure something out for these cats because this is hurting me really bad and I can’t take it any more without him I need him so much that I ‘am such a mess and when he enter my life I could not believe how much we have but if he doesn’t come home and he we can’t do this alone.please come home.and maybe as things will get better I will never leave him again but if he wants me to I guess I would blame him thou but I sure hope it won’t.
    When a man or women gets upset they either hang up or to voice mail until.the the last time I got flowers my ex-stole the tag and swore he got them and I was mad my ex-he is a back staged and this was all my boyfriend got me and I did love love them.
    Please for months I have been living in h***and god please help me.
  • another voice: I think NO CONTACT on a guy is good.... gives him a chance to see life without you UNLESS it is an on again, off again gig......
    After 5 weeks of no contact, I contacted my ex. It was like nothing I said jelled with him, and in the past week he has not responded once, and during our conversation a response was weird...
    I have decided to go back into no contact mode, and I am not going to respond to him at all........ if he wants me back, he is going to have to put some effort into it... and if he doesn’t—– well, I’m moving on.

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