courtesy of ArtbyVeda
I read this today, and I’m interested to hear what you all think of it. This is not my original thought, but it does include my thoughts on it. When it comes to breaking up, girls and guys think very differently.
Girls use emotions: If she’s angry, she’s more likely to dump you. Or if she’s really upset. She’s also more likely to stay with you if she knows that she still loves him. Girls are more likely to (at least temporarily) forgive cheating to salvage the relationship. They are more likely to sacrifice their own happiness for the person they love.
Guys use logic: Guys are more likely to dump someone based on logic, that logic will tell them how they feel. He’ll dump you because you cheated, you cheated, so he logically shouldn’t care anymore, leading to a break up. Or I don’t have time for her, if I don’t make time for her, I must not feel the same. Guys will see their actions as a reflection of their feelings. Another example is if it becomes stressful to hang out with you, or stressful to find time with you, that stress will lead them to believe they don’t feel the same. Guys are more than twice as likely to say “I don’t love you anymore.”
Now I can’t speak from a guys perspective... But I tried to forgive cheating for a guy I thought I loved, and I finally grew a pair and ended it for my own good.
This concept extends into No Contact:
When a girl is the Dumpee: When a girl has been dumped, no contact is incredibly hard at first. But when she gives herself enough time, this distance will help her move on.
When a guy is the Dumper: When a guy has dumped a girl, and she doesn’t contact him, he is more likely to reflect on his emotions, rather than logic like he did for the initial break up. He is more likely to text the dumpee to meet up as long as there was no extreme cause for breaking up. Or no major mess during the break up.
One thing I can say to support that theory, I went on a few dates with a guy, he never got back to me, then 9 months later he hit me up to meet for lunch. At the break up I was really hurting, but by the time he texted me I just laughed a little because I was so over him and how jerky he acted.
When a guy is the Dumpee: When a guy has been dumped, they’re more likely to not make any contact for a few days because their ego has been hurt. Then they will start trying to make contact.
When a girl is the Dumper: It is twice as likely that she’s already slightly interested in someone else. It’s more likely to be a fundamental reason (love) rather than a logistics (being busy) issue. No contact is less likely to work on a girl.
Now I’ve never been interested in someone else when I ended a relationship, but I’ve also never had a guy use no contact on me so it’s a little harder. Although, that being said, after the first few days of No Contact I really take a leap forward in healing, I could assume the same would be true had I been the dumper. In fact being the dumper would give me a head start.
Anyway, I read that theory today, and I’m interested to hear other peoples thoughts on the matter. =). I haven’t decided if I believe it or not.