Seperated Wife Pregnant to another man

I have been married to my wife for 6 years. I am 40 and she is 26. We have had troubles for the last couple of years. We seperated 4 months ago. After three weeks of seperation she told me she wanted to date our friends son, he's 20. A few weeks back she told me she is pregnant. 3 months pregnant. There are complications with the baby's growth. Since our seperation we have been talking about reconciliation but the baby's problems have put that on hold and she wants to concentrate on that and put us both on hold until she's certain about the baby's health. She has said that she's not in love with the father but he is trying to improve himself and that she wants to give him a chance because he is the father. She says she is remorsefull that it wasn't me but she still wants to be with him through the pregnancy. I love her and am willing (maybe stupidly) to care for her and the baby as it were my own. Should I wait and give her the time she needs? Or is she using me as a fallback?

she is just using you. if she cheated and/or screwed someone else that tells me she doesn't care one way or another about the two of you. she is most likely just waiting to see if the other guy will take care of his child, if not she wants to slide back in with you. i hate to say it, but i would tell her to f/o

I think she is actually doing the right thing by giving the baby's father a chance. It sounds like she is usually pretty selfish... after all, if having sex with a 20 year-old during separation isn't the epitome of selfishness, I don't know what else is! But it does seem like she is probably doing the right thing in this instance by giving the baby's father a chance to be with her and their child. Her number one concern right now is her child, and rightly so.

If she ends up not being able to be with the baby's father, and you still want to be with her, then it is your decision whether or not you can forgive her for what has happened. Just remember to never, ever take it out on the child or resent the child.

In the mean time, though, you might want to go ahead and proceed with the divorce. It's only right if she is having another man's baby and they want to try and work things out for the child's sake. You also shouldn't put yourself on a shelf for her; you should get out there and start dating other people. Don't place all your eggs in one basket, so to speak. You can still be there for her emotionally but don't count on her to be with you romantically. I know it will be hard, but maybe it is for the better. It sounds like she got married really young -- and there's a big age difference between the two of you -- so maybe she really just isn't the one for you.

Good luck with everything. I don't envy your situation at all... you are strong to be able to go through all of this!!!

run away as fast as you can!!! I am so sorry this happened to you but you have to face the reality of the facts. She made a choice to have unprotected sex with another man and has betrayed your marriage and you. Please don't be the nice guy because you will only get used up by her. There are so many women of quality out there. Get a lawyer and get the divorce done!
God bless.