Should I be talking to my boyfriend's wife?

Okay Im sorta confused and I need to know what is right and wrong. I have been seeing someone for the last 5 months or so. However, we havent actually met. We met online and I am waiting to come home from IRAQ (he's in the army) to be with him. We really like each other and I think that once he is here, we will hit it off and become serious quickly. There is one problem. He is still married, but seperated. He told me that he is getting a divorce when he is back in the real world and that his wife does know about me. And that she does
She friended me on FB and started talking to me. She has been nothing but nice and told me its definately over with him and was even giving me advice about how hard it is to date an army guy. He does not know we have been talking the last couple of days because im unable to contact him right now.
The reason im talking to her is because they have a little girl together and I want her to get to know me so that she will trust me to be around her girl. She has asked me questions about how long Ive known her husband and if he sent me anything. Things like that. She also tells me that she is still in love with him and how hard it is and that he is leaving her, but it has nothing to do with me. I tell her what i would tell any friend who is going through a breakup/divorce. I also tell her that if him and her decided to work thing out I would never stand in the way.
So here's my question. Is this wrong? Should I not be talking to her? And when my bf finds out will he be mad and what about? I mean when is it crossing the line? Help, i dont have much time to find my answers to this

I don't know, but this is a very odd situation.

There seems to be something not right about all this. She still loves him, is having a hard time accepting the fact that he's leaving her...but she's being friendly to the girl he's going to leave her for? I'm so confused.

I wouldn't want anything to do with you (no offense). But, I would think she'd, if anything, be yelling at you and talking bad about him...

I just find it really odd that she is acting like this. Something is not right. With either him, or her. I'm not sure.

Yeah its a fishy situation that i have a hrad time figuring out too. for me its kinda good, because i got to hear from the wife herself that its over so that eases any doubts for me. my thing is, she is trying to be nice because she doesnt want to upset him and he did tell her to be nice to me. also, i think she not only wants to check me out for the sake of her daughter, but also find out some things that he should probably be telling her. I mean as a guy, how would you feel about your current girlfriend talking to your soon to be ex wife, esp if you say you have nothing to hide?

Twilight girl wrote:

I mean as a guy, how would you feel about your current girlfriend talking to your soon to be ex wife, esp if you say you have nothing to hide?

I wouldn't be scared of being exposed (if I knew I had a clean conscience with you), but I would be concerned. However, I have no idea what kind of women she is. She could be a calculating, manipulative type that is trying to weasel her way in-between you two just to sabotage everything in a few months.

Make sure you save all the records of your convo's, they may be good to hold onto if things were to ever get out of hand (legal). It never hurts to be prepared.

I would just maybe refrain from talking to her until he gets back, or at least they get an official divorce. The whole situation is highly suspicious to me.

I would like to interject if I may, as I have had this experience hit me squarely in the jaw. As Will stated, as long as she will not try to sabotage your relationship with him.

My ex-wife absolutely tried to ruin my relationship with my ex-girlfriend by attacking my character. My ex-wife talked of me very negatively and I was quite upset with my ex-girlfriend for taking this trip down memory lane with her.

I informed her the nature of our split when we first met and stated that my ex-wife was very manipulative and bitter because she knew she gave up a good man because she cheated in our marriage. This was a clear opportunity for my ex-wife to damage my new relationship and it created some animosity in me concerning trust issues with my ex-girlfriend. So much in fact, that I broke up with her because of this.

She knew my character based on my relationship with mutual friends, the community, my children and my church but couldn't believe how badly my ex-wife had treated me and confronted her on various topics concerning me. Some of these topics included my finances, demeanor and career status. She later found out that my ex-wife was a truly, horrible person by fate but it left a bad taste in my mouth.

The ex-girlfriend is on the bubble with me and she realizes that it has affected our relationship severely.

Be careful but honestly, I would take what she says with a grain of salt. Honestly, would you want to talk to an ex-anything concerning your boyfriend? Your relationship with him should be your business, not hers. And if she is very positive about him, why aren't they still together?

I would be more concerned about a lingering friendship with an ex then a non-social relationship with an ex any day.

Just my thoughts!

TY....YOU JUST SOLVED MY PROBLEM.

the best relationships and the only ones that last are based on trust and honesty. also care. be honest and see his view on this, none of us people talking to you right now can predict the future of what he may say or his thoughts/actions. only you know him peronally. tell him about this and confront him saying that she has been talking for a few days. if you get to be talking for any long that really will bother a man. i advise you let him know as soon as possible. do not be frightened, it is not like you are doing anything wrong here, it is just right for him to know and he should be venerable to know.