Should i cut him some slack?

i have been with my boyfriend for almost two years now, everything has been great up until a month ago when we started having the 'do we still want to be together chats'. We have both been under a lot of stress recently, fiancially, emotionally, and with work as a reultour sex life has seemed to slide, i dont know whether i am being too needy but i feel he has no passion for me right now..we still cuddle and kiss and it is him that initiates all of that, he's a very affectionate guy..i just dont know what to do about the sex, we both live in different hectic houses and i feel that perhaps that has something to do with it aswell..i just dont know if i am reading too much into it, its making me feel really undesirable and essentially unwanted..any thoughts?

p.s, the outcome of those chats always results in us telling each other how much we love each other and dont want to be apart..i am just a wee bit worried, we have not been the most active since he had to move back in with his dad, but no it is just becoming no existant

You can reignite the passion, if you're both willing. You said that you have separate households that are hectic and you're under a lot of stress.

Take time to be together away from the stress. Getting out in nature somewhere can be a nice de-stressor. The main thing is to get away from the children or other people who take up so much of your energy and get re-focused on each other.

I too, was stressed out when I broke up with the man I was in love with. I told him I had fallen out of love with him. I thought it was true at the time I said it, because he'd grown distant and sexual intimacy had become non-existent. He was spending less and less time with me and not calling much. I felt he no longer desired me.

I later regretted telling him that I'd fallen out of love with him. I realized that I still loved him the very next day from when I'd said it. He said he wasn't going to give up on us and that he'd call me when he got back from a trip he was on. I was hoping we could work it out, but I didn't tell him so. I waited for his call. My mistake, I guess. He didn't call. Maybe he withdrew before the breakup because he wanted to end the relationship and it was his way of getting me to break up with him so he wouldn't feel as bad. I don't know...it's all a guessing game without communication. In breaking up, I thought I was giving him what he wanted. weird, huh?

In my house, I was temporarily helping out friends, who are like family to me as I've known them practically all of their lives. I let them stay with me while they were in transition for about three weeks. My house is small and they had to sleep on the couches, and we all had to share one bathroom. They tried to help out a little, but I did most of the cooking and cleaning. So, between that, and work, and dealing with trying to get help for a mentally ill family member was putting tons of extra stress on me.

My friends were good company, though, because they showed up needing help during the time when I would have felt even more lonely had I been alone, as my lover had grown distant. I was missing him and feeling like he didn't love me. At least my friends could make me laugh and offered kindness and encouragement toward my mentally ill family member when he came for a visit.

My friends have since moved out and work has slowed down. My mentally ill family member is stabalizing and I'm not as worried about the possibility that he might commit suicide.

Now that I can think more clearly, I am thinking of all the wonderful things about my ex-bf that I loved. His handsome smile, his creativity, his humor, his intelligence, his love for his family and nature, his love for me when he loved me...and more...

Even so, he's not speaking to me. I try to comfort myself by thinking of the things I didn't like, but I miss his love so much more than words can say. His indifference hurt me, but I still miss the good love he gave me before it all went bad.

Along with these thoughts, the clarity I now have also tells me that there were things that I should not accept in a relationship, that he is who he is and maybe he would always be too distant to make me happy. I feel that he didn't care enough about me to even try.

It hurts, but I have to trust that it's for the best. I need a man who will not check out on me, especially when I need him the most.

I hope you can preserve your love. There is nothing greater in life's experience than to love and be loved.

Blessings to you and yours

lovedefender, you mentioned that you've been thinking more and more about the good memories you shared with your ex... So would you say it's true that "absence makes the heart grow fonder"?

You never know what life reserve for you , hold on dont give up so fast

Sorry that my reply to your question is so late, Nabs! I just now saw it.

Would I say that "absence makes the heart grow fonder"? Sometimes, not always...of course it depends on the dynamics at play within the individuals.

In my case it did, but only for a short while. He is not the right man for me, and I no longer miss him at all. Actually, I got over him pretty fast because I got hard-core honest with myself and my perceptions. I'd been looking at the relationship through misperceptions based on what I'd wished it'd been rather than what it really was.

When I looked at the relationship in logical terms, I found that he did not posess the qualities I need to be happy in a love relationshiip; in fact, he was my worst nightmare! Had I'd continued with him, I would have become more and more unhappy with him and life in general.

I've moved on and am happy again. I am myself again.

I noticed there were stages that I went through before I really let go and regained my happiness. The first stage was full of anger, and I had a very short fuse for awhile. I've noticed this lashing out from some others in the early stage of a breakup, and consider it a healthy dynamic that tends to assist in dealing with realities for awhile.

As I read new posts, I can feel the hurt, the denial, the anger, the hopes...it's given me a kinder perspective for most people here, yet I still have little patience with those whom I feel to be too egocentric and closed off to a higher discernment.

There is no absolute rules about our human psychology, only patterns we can somewhat rely on.

anyway....how are you today?