So hurt and lost

This is no doubt a story heard so many times before but Im so lonely I need to talk. I found out last Thursday my husband of 8 years had been "seeing" a girlf from work (23 hes 35) for two weeks, denies sex and the 37 pages of mssages on facebook do back this up. I rang him at work to confront him, after denying a few times he admitted it, came home packed his bag told me he wanted a divorce and left. This has been the biggest shock of my life as i thought we were ok, few arguments here and there as any other family ( he took on my two children as his own) he woulnt discuss why, what went wrong, trying to get past it or anything. He has now moved in with his stepsister, still paying all bills etc here and has agreed to for at least a year. My life is completely upside down, i still love him, want him and the kids love him and miss him but he doesnt want to know. He saya he has a future with this girl who he so far has only seen at work and now cant possibly afford to live together. What do i do??? I cant carry on spending my time crying non stop. It seems so sudden but he seems adamant, is there any chance i can get him ack, will his new relationship really work? I am so sad and lonely and not coping at all. Please help me

you cant get him back.....he has to want to come back

I know that may sound obvious....but when he has the space and time to think he will come to realise things on his own....all youc an do is not be needy and be there for the little ones....they are your focus now

Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option

But arent I just allowing him to carry on being with her and him thinking I dont care or love him?
I really not in a gd way today and cant see further than needing him.

well no....think about it

he was carrying on with her regardless....so what you say or do isnt going to change that.

what you could do is construct a letter/email/text that outlines your feelings and how you feel etc

and send that....but ultimately the more you push the further he will be away from you.

I know it sounds dumb....but think about it....