hey peeps.
i'll get straight into it because i write alot.here goes..
i study abroad.about over a year ago my best friends brother came over here for a holiday.we really hit it off.to be honest i had the butterflies in ur stomach kinda feeling.i knew it was a crush then.but never the less i still thought he was an awesome guy.funny,extemely nice and well he got the looks too(something i usually dont go for in guys considering i aint all that myself)basically hes outta my league.i spent a week with him staying up at nights with him and his sis just talking and chilling.i will jsut never forget when he sat next to me during a horror movie.he was tryin so hard not to show he was scared(v.cute).anyhow we had a weird goodbye.i dunno but i didnt want to say bye i guess.but i brushed all this aside as i always do and got bk to studying.well not long after we started talking on msn.was a little odd for me.learnt alot about him.was nice to know guys like him existed.he'd be there for me,listen to me, cheer me up.it then became quite often that we talked and had long convos and lots of bantering and laughs.ones where u jsut forget everything around u.we've told each other things i think we both would never tell noone else.recently we got the habit of watching movies together.
(i think its cute.my mate thinks its weird seeing as we are in 2 diff places.
)we basically spend alot of time doing this.to be precise a year
well coming to the point.i think im starting to fall for this guy.not surprising.all i do is spend most of the day thinking about him and little things trigger my memory and makes me laugh.my friends know something is up as i've got this massive grin on my face alot.
i can't tell them anything because they know he is my best friends brother.i love his sis to bits.she means the world to me and it hurts that i have feelings for her bro.she doesn't even have a clue we talk so much.
i know he don't like me in that way.hes way to good for me.but the way we are with each other makes me question myself u know
plus i know he is definatly looking for something else(he is diff religion and finding someone of the same is important to him)so rules me out
yet even knowing all this..why do i feel like this for him..i can't concentrate and its really affecting my work. i literally look forward to him coming online.my eating and sleeping patterns just gone off the rail.is it still just a crush??or am i becoming obsessive??i just feel like im going crazy!!!
i thought maybe i could just stop talking to him.but its not an easy option.because i care about him and even though i don't like tagging what we have.he is one of my best friends.you can't just turn ur back on something like that.
i can't tell him..no way on hell..its not even an option
just would really appreciate some advice.i really find its affecting me now to the point i can't do my exams.
help plz.thank you
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