unknowingly pushed away the love of my life

I've been in love with this girl since i met her, about 6 years ago. We started dating about 8 months ago, which have been the happiest most fulfilling days of my life. She is abnormally outgoing and touchy with other guys, and I have issues trusting people in general (especially someone I've pined over for so long). I always replay the worst possible scenarios for any situation in the cinema of my mind. This has taken a toll on our relationship, what with me needing constant reassuring, or bugging her, and just not trusting her. She broke up with me over it a few days ago and I've been an absolute wreck. I have dated a considerable amount of women since I met her, and didn't think twice about ending a 3 year relationship on a whim when she started talking to me again last spring. I met up with her to talk a few days ago, and the waterworks were on from both ends. She says she still loves me, but we're still breaking up. I am willing to do whatever it takes to get her back and never lose her again, which is why this week I am meeting with a therapist and getting some meds for anxiety. Even times when i DO trust her, it doesn't seem like it since i get hung up on things and keep thinking of ANY possible way things could be going wrong, which I am now attributing to some deep rooted anxiety issues that I've never addressed. I gave her MANY opportunities to tell me that she was done for good, and she said she couldn't say that. What I'm worried about is her meeting some rebound guy or something while I'm working on myself and losing what feelings she has left for me. Basically what I'm asking I guess is how do I keep her thinking about me? What do I do?? Is it bad to keep in contact with her? If I don't will she want me more or will she forget me? If I do will it push her further away? HELP!!!!!!!!!

You know,

sadly, sometimes it really is this simple.

You love someone so overly.

You just happen to be the guy who fell hard for one and she ended up dating you. It's badly out of balance, that's all.

As for her feelings, it probably is nice to have someone as in love her as you are.

This doesn't turn people off, it just becomes overwhelming.

You probably overly overdote on her and treat her like a rockstar.

It's not how you would treat everybody.

I don't think you can work on this.
If I were dating Johnny Depp, I would be a complete basketcase. No amount of therapy would help. However, there is one person out there who might see Johnny Depp as a normal person.

She is the one who got him.

Get it?

Well i spoke to her in person last about 5 days ago now and she wouldn't tell me she was done with me forever. Then last night she texted me asking how I was. I replied "shitty, and you?". We texted back and forth a few times and she said "goodnight baby I love you with all my heart". So she is either doing shit like this to crush me into an even finer powder than I already am at this point, or she really isn't done. My problem now is how often do I contact her? How soon is too soon to try again? How long is too long? I wonder if I give her space, will she want me more or will she move on completely? Going to therapy will hopefully show her that I'm legitimately working on myself and my flaws. I have also been carrying around a piece of paper and writing on it every time I want to talk to her or think about her. It's turned into a pad, actually. People tell me to just wait but I'm in fear of giving her too long. This is fresh right now... there has to be something I can do... I need help, not discouragement.

don't pursue it...give her a chance to realize what she's missing out on...work on your self...keep your self busy...try something new...keep busy...remember when you were single and what you did before she came into your life...do those things...it will be hard but you have to find a way...

and giving her too much space or her moving on those are all excuses that we tell ourselves to get in contact with them again and it doesnt work...trust me ive been there...if she truely loves you then she will be there...if she moves on then you were always better off without her all along...

what you need to do is keep your distance...and focus on you..thats what matters right now

Rackin,
Your situation is a new one to me. You broke up with a girl you had been dating for 3 years to be with this one. That is pretty amazing, she probably notices the fact that you love her as much as you do, which is a very good thing. If she is still contacting you then things are on the up and up for you.
Here is what you need to do and when I say need I mean really need to do. She may be flirty with other guys and what not but keep this in mind my man, SHE CHOSE YOU!!! Those are words that my ex told me once, she chose me, when I felt that she might still want one of her old flames. I didn't feel that i could compete with him. But in the end she chose me, now I am on the outs with her, not because of Jealousy but because of other reasons.
Keep talking to her when she is the one trying to talk to you, if she doesn't want it to be over it is not over. But you have to be able to say to yourself, I do trust her because I love her. She chose you man... I can't say it enough cause you will have to repeat it to yourself. It is just a fact Rackin, she chose you. She wouldn't have dated you and been with you for as long as she was if she didn't want you. One more time, she chose you. Keep that in mind bro, and keep talking to her but don't tell her your shitty, just say I am ok but I miss you terribly. Something like that. You don't need to distance yourself either, just talk to her when she wants to talk to you, if she hasn't texted in a day, send her one saying Hi, i was just thinking of you or something. But leave it at that.
It sounds to me like you just need to fix your trust issues and the best way to do that is like I have said 10 times already just recognize the fact that she chose you.
Good Luck and Keep faith

Thats really hard for us to answer because we do not know her or her dynamics. We do not know what is going to help or make it worse because we really don't get to see her side or why you aren't together.

In some cases...if it was you going on non stop with jealous issues and the relationship went to talking about the jealousy issue for months and months instead of being in the relationship...

Only you know how much you brought it up and made an issue of it and only she knows how bad it really was.

There is no meds for this. You overly love her and she is one of those rockstar types isn't she?

She is too much of a gorgeous socialite and it drives you nuts and thats just her, right.

The writing in your book is a great idea.
I have many of those.

But that, for your situation, will only last so long. You needed to stop nitpicking her and just stop before it went to this level.

Now you are really going to have to control it all in one shot. And yeah, the most i ever broke up with my boyfriend is 3 days. So I don't know how all these people talking about no contact actually ever get back together. If you are not back together and a normal couple within three days......

But dont run out and get all hyper.
But yeah, normally, you just stop bad behavior and get back together and learn that she is a flirty social person and you are going to have to trust her. Without venting and be okay with it.

Because as of right now...only thing you have told us is that you went off on how she was acting all the time. She will miss you, but that is fatal flaw behavior. Nitpicking and accusing and nagging non stop about who she is. Expecting her to change.

She isn't going to let you back in her life if its been excessive. No matter how much she loves you.