Went through serious illness. Now after 13 years she doesn't love me any more.

Hello, I've been married 13 years. Been sick for two. Kidney failure. Last Nov. Went on dialysis.In June my sister donated a kidney to me. I took the transplant because of my wife. New lease on life and all. Now my wife tells me she doesn't love me anymore. Just as I am getting back on my feet. I am in hell. She wants to keep living in house and just act like we're room mates or something. She's going out drinking all the time. Coming home sometimes at 5 a.m. I'm still emotionally attached. She doesn't get why we can't live in the same house. I've tried to tell her I can't watch it. I can't move out and support two households. Last night she admitted she kissed someone else at a bar one night. I've told her how I feel. Asked to try to work it out. She says no. No way she can get feelings back and doesn't want to try. She says there's no one else. Ha! Plus one of her sick friends who knows how bad I am hurting has been playing a joke on me. Calling and saying he's a friend of her boyfriend. Knows intimate details about us that could have only come from her. She swears no boyfriend. Thinks it might be a boyfriend of one of the girls she goes partying with. Still it's pretty sick. What kind of people is she hanging around with? This is high school crap. I can't move on living in the same house. It's raining every day in my head. I am struggling to do the practical things I must do each day. Yet she has me trapped. She won't help me sell house. She won't move out. I stuggle to keep taking my anti rejection meds but I do it for my sister because of what she sacrficed for me. I am a grown man and I cry every day. This pain is worse than anything I have been through in the past two years by far. I've heard all the crap. "Gold must go through many fires to become it's purist form". "God won't pit you through anything you can't handle". None of it helps. I guess only time but the seconds tick by like hours. My heart is broken. I am in hell. How do I get through it? Oh my God it hurts so bad. I just found this site today. I don't know why I'm writing all this. I just need to vent I guess.

Hi Bo106, welcome to the forum

I am so sorry to hear your wife is putting you through all this. If she would be fair she would just leave the house and that's it. Not that you would feel better then but at least a clear cut won't have you face her escapades.

What can I say? I don't think there is anything I can say. Nothing will help in this case other than her moving out. THEN time can start healing the wound.

It's entirely possible that her loss of love for you started while you were sick, but she was too guilty to say anything.

Loving someone so deeply and for so long is a lot like taking 2 balls of yarn and knotting them up. It takes a long time to unravel the two and separate, and it's even harder when every day that yarn is more jumbled than before.

All you can do is look yourself in the mirror and say "Look dude, You are trying to chase a woman that wants to use you for your house and that is just the truth of it all."

If she won't leave then at least try and take a vacation, maybe spend time with some family?

Do you really want to chase someone who is using you? Would you start dating someone right now if you were guaranteed to be used?

You need to spend some time to work on yourself it sounds like to me - get your yarn back!