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Okay ladies. We’ve all heard that line before. It seems to come out of the blue. But actually, in retrospect, I’ve always been able to pinpoint my behaviors that lead up to the ultimate “I need space” conversation with my ex boyfriends. So what do you do when he says, “I need space”? Most importantly, what NOT to do.
Do’s
- Do agree with him
- Do listen to him calmly without interrupting him
- Do hold your composure
- Do make sure you get lost for a good 3 months
- Do cry with your girlfriends and start having fun with them
Agreeing with him will throw him off guard. You can simply say, “Gee you know, I’ve been thinking about us too and I was going to say the same thing. We just don’t seem to be a good fit. I’m glad you brought it up.” Say it in a way that you are genuinely regretful. This tactic will make him second guess himself. His ego can’t take the fact that you were about to reject him!
Don’ts
- Don’t cry in front of him
- Don’t ask him to give you another chance
- Don’t tell him you’ll change
- Don’t tell him you’ll wait for him
- Don’t call or text him for 3 months
Women tend to make themselves look desperate when they text their ex boyfriends after being dumped. Asking him for another chance really looks bad. He may stay with you, but out of pity. You must accept that it’s over. Then get lost - for at least 3 months.
Many women make excuses by saying, “but we have the same circle of friends.” Then get a new set of friends for that 3 month period. Why? Because it’s going to be an incredibly hurtful reminder to sit with him and his friends knowing that he dumped you.
If your friends can’t understand that you need to heal, they’re not your friends. If he’s worth trying to get back, I suggest investing in an online ebook called The Magic of Making Up. This ebook will teach you exactly what to do in a step-by-step system to win your ex back.
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I think in general this is a good rule of thumb to follow. it’s not so much about making him jealous or manipulating him into "missing you," as it is about making yourself more emotionally stable after a painful breakup. Sometimes, the space will open the door to friendship and possible reconciliation.
Certainly you will peak his curiosity by acting like you’re out having fun or meeting men, but often it will tell him that you’re over him, or that you are faking it. Be authentic and genuine to yourself whatever you do:)
I also sincerely recommend Toronto based therapist Yangki Christine. She is really spot on in many areas and takes a novel approach to relationships not always present in cookie cutter online sites.
Yes Nigh Orchid! I agree. The main thing is when you withdraw, you’re doing it for your own sake. In the natural process, he’ll either come crawling back because he misses you, or he won’t.
"The main thing is when you withdraw, you’re doing it for your own sake." - i think this best implies to all actually both male and female. :) its actually for those who will be on the receiving end so to speak, it gives that person a card to turn thing around… to the receiver’s favor, well that always remains to be seen, as what you said "In the natural process, he/she’ll either come crawling back because he/she misses you, or he/she won’t."