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O.K. maybe Win Back Your Ex - The Texts of DEATH is a bit of a dramatic title but it is for good reason. I often brush upon the topic of text messages in some of my articles but I feel they deserve a little more then a few lines.

I do not have to tell anyone but texting has become a way of life. Look at the progression. We used to just hand write letters to each other and mail them. Then with the advent of the Internet we could E Mail and Instant Message. Of course, this would require that both parities be at a computer with an Internet connection to send or receive a message. Around the same time we became a culture OBSESSED with our cell phones. Suddenly, 12 year olds need a cell phone and no one went anywhere with out them. Well now we have full keyboards, Blackberries and more advanced telecommunication devices. Yay Text Messaging!

The real thing of beauty, the best part about it is if you send someone a message, you don’t know if they have read it or not. On the other side...it is very easy to ignore a text. This has become equal to just ignoring someone if they were standing right next to you.

This constant communication plays a huge role in any relationship. Now, in a broken relationship, especially when one is trying to win back your ex, this becomes a weapon. A sword or a gun can have similar effects as a well worded text message. And what about the barrage of texts that one is able to send over a short period of time?

The point I am trying to make (yea, it’s here somewhere) is this new and powerful tool and greatly help win back your ex or totally destroy any chances you ever had. Texting gives us an impersonal outlet for what we are feeling and it is a direct connection to the person who is making us feel that way. This is why it is so powerful and why it can have such horrible results if used incorrectly.

If you are actually trying to win back your ex and this goes for the guys and the girls, use your text messages wisely. Too many over a short period of time will just annoy the **** out of the other person. Totally ignoring them will just send them the message that you don’t care. A carefully worded and times message can do a world of difference.

Texting

Creative Commons License courtesy of yago1.com

Examples, you say?

BAD Text #1

12:23 pm “John I know you are out with that *****. You are such an a*hole!!! I guess I mean nothing to you.”

12:26 pm “You cnt even write back to me??? why are you being so shady?”

12:30 pm “I F’n hate you! I hope you are having fun because I am going out now too!”

And scene! John was out with his buddies watching a ball game. Did not hear his phone in the ten mins she was texting. She now has drawn her own conclusions and cursed him off. How do you think he feels about her when he looks at his phone.

GOOD Text #1

12:23 pm “John hope you are having a good night. Just wanted to let you know i was thinking about you. Going out with Jenn for a little bit. Give me a call tommro”

This is a good. It makes him feel good about her and what she said, lets him know that she is still thinking about him but not obsessed and leaves the door open for him to get in touch with her. Also lets him know she is not just sitting home alone.

See texts can be an awesome tool to use to win back your ex.

So... what do you think? Please leave me a comment or give me a
.

51 Comments:

  • kevin: All I can say is WOW, this article is awesome! great job. Very insiteful and to the point. You are a good writer.
    Sincerly Kevin
  • bella1: txting can be good and bad exspecially if you have broken up..you have your stages you go through whether its male or female..the sad begging txt-making you look pathetic and psyco..which you cant help because your hand just starts typing at that moment..lol then theres the drunk dialing txt..- totally just make yourself look like an idiot and it pushes them away even further..and theres the angry txt because there ignoring you- **** you scum bag hope your ***** dies..yea not good..really pushes them away..the cell can be dangerous and you lose the one you want.and then you have to just walk away because you dont want to look anymore stupid then you already have..
    and then months go by and you heal and move on and your out on a date happy and content and as your at dinner you get a txt..hi how are you i was wondering if we could talk..i miss you..thats when the ignoring txt come..lol and the hard to get stage..Remember once you hit send its all over!!! so think before you txt or write it on paper and think to yourself should i really send this?..if you want your ex back theres only one way..and thats walking away and moving on..if you love someone set them free if it comes back its meant to be..
  • noelboby: Once i was dumpped by my girl, we had a relationship of 5 years.. irs wasintense .. since we made love with one anothr..our marriage was even fixd..wen we compete our studies....
    As i reached my 3 year of College (Medicine),..She started keepin distance wit me.. I cut my fingers and wit full blood i wrote a letr ... i knew she wont understnd if i simply say things up.. thats why i decided to do something stupid like this...but the things went in the opposite direction.. she hated me more after that , coz she thot that i was a mad person..
    She completed her course and went 2 another state,,,, and i went behind searching 4 her.. i dint had any no:..nothing.no address. i just had an idea that she was doing her mse ....in that state(Bangalore- In India)
    i was soo depressed coz wen i go out of the hotels which i live in...it just reminded me of her.. it was like torturing me....
    And soon as usual i startd makin frnds thr ,,,, alot of girls started divertin ma mind ...
    Then i went back to my home town, coz i left hope..
    I felt suffocated thr in ma room.. ma mob,ipod, and computer are filled with her fotos..I took again a bus to bangalore...in the bus i met a guy who knew my girl.. i took my girl’s mobile no: from him,,,U GUYS WONT BELIV ME ,, 4 NXT 3months i dint hav guts 2 call in that number...
    my hands wud shiever..
    i gave that mob no: to othr frnds of mine.. they called her and asked her 1 question "How is your lyf without franklin"
    she got stuck .....They gav my mob no: 2 her ...i waited n waitd .. then atlast i got a call from her ... She scolded me left n right... using bad words like hell on me.. i said n also request n begged her to meet me..Shw said that she wud meet me but that wud be the last ..She wanted 2 throw a last drama wit my love...
    I went 2 the auditoriun where she had her college annual functions,,,,
    She came and infron of 1000 of peaple she call my name...
    She got in her knees and asked me sorry.... (it really seems like a movie story)but guys i promise its my life..
    She needed tym for herself n i was happy that i kept some distance with her...
    oh yes After that She came n hugged me n gave me a direct m2m.... i was ... shockd , i dint hav evn any sounds comin out of my mouth..
    This is my life...
    MY GIRL’S NAME IS "Malie"—-Acordin 2 me–It is
    "Ma Li’f'e "
  • singingegg: wow~~though i am a non-english speaker, but i know it is a good post.
    hello.
  • Get Her Back Fast: I’m glad there’s people writing articles about getting the girl back because so many guys don’t realize how easy it is.
  • l0sre: you guys are *****. buckle up and find yourself another girl. there’s billions out there.
  • Paolo:

    Most guide books to relationships are designed to help men attract and make relationships work with women. With a lot of the material inspired by my readings of the books of Neale Donald Walsch and Deepak Chopra; this book does the opposite and focuses to help women attract men and make the relationship work, rather than fail. 

  • UtterlyConfused: this is a great topic... texting has become the norm. Not only should you be careful texting an ex but...After being off the dating scene since before texting was anything to consider; is a whole ‘nother topic. haha :) i personally can’t stand texting; yeah it’s great for quick questions or fun little hellos but I don’t like using it as a method of conversation too big a margin for mis-interpretation.
  • Baron: It’s interesting how we formulate our life and approach this whole thing of meeting and keeping our women. Then when we mess up we find all these ways of trying to get her back. If the girl is jerking you around let her go, women need not get away with manipulating men, most of them do.
    The next thing is some of us put too much emphasis on getting back the girl and not evaluating ourselves. I do not believe a man should travel around the world in finding some woman who does not want to be with him. I know that you may have found your girl in India, but talk to me in another couple of months, I am sure she is going to give you hell in the future, because there is a lack of respect I think.
    I believe though we should should find books that give us information about operating from a good place in our relationships so that we can take the right approach in forming good foundation, clear and clean communication, mutual respect and understanding, and preserve a good thing, than getting books that assures us of getting back our ex girlfriend or wives. My experience is my wife left, and I told her, if you leave keep running, I am not going to humiliate myself running her down, because when love is reciprocated you will know. I am not too big to say I am sorry, but I believe that there are lots of lovely women out there for me to be humiliating myself with one.
    DO NOT RUN THEM DOWN!!!
  • fujima: i should have read this blog post 9 months before, back then i would have 90% chance of winnning my EX back..
    9 months after, we’re friends again, he healed, i didn’t. i forgave him but can’t forget. he moved on.. and i didn’t.. we sometimes communicate but i think whatever stupid and undenyingly hurtful things i said to him when he dumped me still lingers in his system.. he has someone new now.. and i know i can never win him back... all because of my stupidity..
    alas, i was stupid and angry back then, can’t take my words back.. but i wish i can.. i wish i could turn back time and restart all over again... after reading this blog maybe i have a chance... i’l never know..
    i wish i’ve read this blog 9 months ago... maybe then..
  • Clobber9: having done this many times in a long term relationship because my girlfriend was passive, I just finally called it quits. She doesn’t get me back, other than showing up on my doorstep, it would be impossible for her to contact me. I have a text and call blocker on my cell phone for her numbers, I changed my number, and I have a rule in my email to reject her message.
  • Baron: Let me just say that the biggest mistake that I ever made was breaking up with my girlfriend, and after years of failed relationships went back to her. The important thing is, when a relationship is broken, we need to evaluate the reason, especially if it’s a serious relationship. Going back could mean regressing, and the real reason for why the relationship broke in the first place is significant. New rule: If it’s broken don’t fix it, just move on...
  • Relationship Expert: This post is pretty nice, i so much enjoyed it.
    One thing i get to understand is as an adult we have experienced one break up or the other no matter the relationship, But i always advice that if you want your ex back again into your life don’t be too desperate to have him/her back other wise you will lose him/her for ever.
    Thanks
  • Baron: What?!! Let her go and be with my best friend then. Any woman who I would have to cast a spell on for her to stay let her go, and for the rest of my life, thinking that this woman is with me because she has a spell on her. I much prefer is it was her free will, that woman can be with me, she I would be willing to sacrifice for. No woman is good for me to cast a spell for her to stay with me. I would allow her to go be with my best friend and wait on the one who can dedicate themselve and commit to me out of choice.
  • thebreakup2makeup: From someone who actually used these techniques, I can can attest that many of these principles do work. The Magic of Making Up by T.W. Jackson is a system I highly recommend. Other great get your ex back systems are Pull Your Ex Back and the Ex2 System.
    I have all three and really recommend them. I’m living proof they do work.
  • Rabbit: I agree with Baron there. Anyone you have to put a spell on to make you love you will only last for so long. How long does the spell last. Perhaps you should find out the underlying problem you and your girlfriend have that doesn’t make the relationship work and fix it.
    She had an affair for a reason. Nobody that’s truly happy in a relationship does something to jeopardize it, and if they do, do you really want to be with a person like that?
  • Spanna: Well ive experieced both ends of the stick on this case. My relationship broke down 14 mnths ago. I left the town and deleted him out my life as he ultimatly betrayed me. It took him 2 weeks to get his stuff out the house at this point - Shows he didnt wanna leave. But people got involved and it got messy we left it bitter. But it was only due to one person and that was because of the lady that got her claws into him.
    I got a call out the blue from him this april declaring his love and feelings. He missed me and had to get my dads phone to call me. He told me he would speak to me again and that he loved me.
    For 2 weeks after that he denied the call - He was giving it another go with this lady who tor us apart made us bitter against one another. She has now trapped him with a baby (not yet born) - During him splitting up with her he got back in touch with me 2 weeks after the first call...He told me soo much that he was holding up inside for all those months. I thought i was talking to someone else. We patched things up and he was really happy to see me again and just stuck to me like glue. But due to the pressures of this women he has hit the drink hard and has gone into a downward spirral - We have broken up again.
    He told me through text i was to get on with my life as he was gettin on with his on his own - But i had to make the 1st move by asking him by text (he wont face me) if we had a future. If i leave him again and forget about him and try and discard my feelings....will he return again?! or is this it? Has she totally destroyed any chance of us being together in the future due to her selfish ways??
  • crissy: give me advice thanks http://www.relationshiptalk.net/he-playing-me-13247224.html
  • WinEx Back: Whoa! What a bad text..
  • Larry:
  • Get ex boyfriend: One basic thing that should be kept in mind while trying to get ex boyfriend back is that never. Show him that you are too needy or want him like anything. And yes never beg and plead in front of him. Rather be confident and live your life to the fullest as this would definitely attract him towards you.
  • Baron: Cast a spell eh, well that is just sick, so he cast a spell on your finances and your love life, you got your love because of a spell, you could not do it on your own? If it works for you, but I would not suggest the world walking around all of us under a spell...:O
  • sarahjohnson: Hey Baron, it was not my fault, i was die in love with him, i know he love me, but i could not wait. i have to do what i did to save my relationship. There was no side effect. He is Good, He made my fiances come to his senses, because he loved me.
  • Baron: Which is where you have a problem, you could not wait, so you had someone cast a spell, if you cannot see a fundamental issue with that, and your conscience can live with knowing your man is with you because a spell is cast on him then go right ahead, but do not suggest that others take that on, it is not healty, you must remember, if there was this guy who was out there who decided he wanted you and could not wait and then cast a spell on you then what? You guys need to think, this is sooo sick!!!
  • sarahjohnson: He knows everything, spell casting did not do any harm, another girl like me was trying to take away my man. Baron, everybody with his know thought and mind. You are just there, you have not see anything like heart break, if you see such, you will go extra mind.
    Baron.. I never regretted every beat of what i did because the girl in question that wanted to take away my man, has some powers, so i do not trust any body. okay. i did what i know it was good at the right time and right place.
    People, i am very sorry if you are angry about this, Baron is talking from his own perspective. Do not let anybody to take away your love, this life is not for heart breaks. ENOUGH OF HEART BREAK. do what you have to do
  • Baron: You are not thinking, you are running away from heartbreak, it is a part of our development.
  • gummybears: Running away from heartbreak... Hi sara, perhaps in this point in time of your life, the magic looks like the greatest relationship problem solver ever made. Perhaps it works just like it does on the wizards of waverly place, perhaps it doesn’t. I do know from experience that these moments, these heartbreaking moments are when our true personalities shine through. That those are the times when we grow as a person into something bigger and greater that any old hearbreak, or run from it scared and weak.
    The magic you talk about, that "magic" people seek in daily life is in those trans-formative moments and the spell is the self talk to build up the courage we need in order to face it.
  • Baron: So easy, and I am sure you are happy with yourself.
  • ryoon: Reading all the spell caster comments kind of cheered me up, I really hope no one is buying into their ads though. ITS NOT GOING TO WORK
  • gummybears: I’m going to delete them.
  • gummybears: Lots of empty boxes now.
    Look at it this way. If they worked and if they worked and were safe, they would be regulated by the government, taught in universities and prescribed by doctors, psychologist, psychiatrists and most importantly: they would be covered by health benefits!
    And they aren’t.
    :) there... my good deed for the day!
  • THE FAMILY OF GREG SANDY:
  • Baron: Hey Gummy, why don’t you write and article about why spell casting do not work, add all the points you have been making and let me know when its ready.
  • gummybears: I haven’t written an article in ages! That means I would have to dust off my laptop and actually open it! Lol!
  • Anonymous: So I have been in a five year relationship and I love my partner or former I should say...I know he is my soulmate and I would do anything to save him from his downward spiral, but I realize that I can’t. He left bc he has hurt me so many times and wants to get back on track. I miss him with all my heart and I can’t talk to him, but I know he’s there. I have my faults and I have hurt him too, though not nearly as bad, but I know that one day he will come back. I never gave up on him and I still haven’t, but I’m stepping back bc I need to heal and take care of myself just like he needs to. If I could have him back i would do it in the blink of an eye, but for now, I’m going to write our story...
  • ~Molly~: I’m getting tired of deleting and banning spell caster posts!!!!!!!
  • Baron: I know, these guys are so insistent.
  • CR: This is so funny, i feel way better after reading all these comments some of the stories are really sweet.
    Stupid spell casters though haha
    the war against the spell casters actually had me smiling there for a second..
    Im envisioning some weird vodoo people scouting the web for sites that might be home to the vulnerable.
    Its just so retarted.
  • Dylan: Im lookin for fun honey text
  • jolean: I think texting is rather impersonal like the article blurb stated, and if you are looking for a fresh start with an ex boyfriend or girlfriend then a phone call is required for conversations. Texts should only be used for short Hello’s or cute short questions (flirty) or making plans/directions. Texts should not be used for important matters. Texting is impersonal and poor and for the most part gay...I weep for the future of the socially retarded and those lacking major etiquette.
  • hopester: it’s just so hard not to keep texting lol
  • Kevin S: This is a very interesting article. I was never aware that texting can have such an effect on a breakup, much less making up with your ex. I haven’t tried to text my ex after the breakup, and I personally don’t want to try.
  • aizaaa: weird.
  • mohamadumariam: what will i do to get my ex back
  • Lifeshardquestions: Well, this is some great on how to communicate with texting, but I think the bigger issue is WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO GET BCK WITH YOU EX!!
    Nothing against the poster, but I thin it reflects a trend in internet marketing where people offer bad relationship advice marketed to people in the first desparate throes of separation.
    It is MUCH more important to learn to get over your ext than to try and get them back. if you SUCCEED- you will have convinced/coerced/pressured someone who DOES NOT WANT TO BE WITH YOU to be with you. they’re only going to break up with you again.
    If you fail, you would have just wasted valuable time, effort, and embarassment trying to coerce someone who DOES NOT WANT TO BE WITH YOU.
    Its time to face the fact: THEY DO NOT WANT TO BE WITH YOU.
    so figure out why, (hopefully) and decide if its something you’d like to or need to change to improve yourself.
    In my own personal opinion, way too many people live in a sad, desparate, codependent rational where being in a relationship is the default and something is wrong with you if your not...
    The fact is that there needs to be a reason TO get in a relationship- the person should bring something to you to enhance your life (other than looks or affection- though one persons particulr brand, type, or amount of affection might be great, ANY sig. other you involve yourslf with will probably do the same.)
    It is best to get OVER your ex, work on you and your assets so that you can bring something to the table and your "next" wont become your "Ex" as well.
    "its best way is to your ex back, not get back your ex."
    hehehe and he best revenge is success.
    (that last was a joke.)
  • Queen: To Bella1
    You are so on point. I am at a place in life where I JUST did the bad texting and feel like *t. He finally responding telling me that he has a girlfriend now that he wants to respect and requested that I delete his number and to NEVER call or text him again. He wished me happiness in life telling me to move on and never contact him again. If this person is new or he went back to his ex, either was behind my back. I realized months ago I was the rebound girl. She cheated on him with her ex, she used him dry financially, and threw him out of the house more than once. The only reason he left her was because she told him she didn’t want the relationship anymore. If he’s with her I know it was definitely contemplated on her behalf since she heard he was seeing someone(me). They have the same friends and his mother loves her ( doesn’t know how bad she was to her son). I’m sure their mothers(who stayed in contact) along w his female friends were all plotting and rooting for her. On my end: I’m sure I helped win by becoming too clingy and "pressuring" him as he put it. But I really tried to be good to him and built him up when he was unemployed and feeling ****. Now he has his job back and someone else on his arms. It’s **** how one can be so intimate w you and throw you out the window when they’re done using you. But it’s fault the chaser changed to me months ago. I feel defeated and though I really care about him I’d sure want him to come back to me so I can gloat in the faces of all the females in his life ( her, her mom, and his friends). I made a fool of myself and he made a fool of me. First time as a rebound girl. Think he’ll call? Do I hold a chance?
  • CR James: He’s not going to call at this time - not based on (his likely) perception of you and the experience. It’s best to learn the lesson and do a better job at "evaluating guys" in the future.
    You have to set the standard from DAY 1 of how you would like to behave and interact with a person in a relationship, because there are people who are good at bringing out the "worse" in a person.
    As far as him calling, again not likely to happen so soon...
    The process of going from a "person who pressures" into "someone who provides pleasure" is tricky
    and has to be navigating the right way...
  • Queen: You’re right CR James, it seems as though you were going easy on me so Thank u. :) I also don’t believe he’d call this soon just hopeful for maybe later I guess, especially reading Bella1’s experience. Hopefully later I won’t care but I can’t pretend I’m unhurt right now. I was genuinely good to him and he just took and took. You’re right though. Thanks for your response.
  • denycej05: Spell caster? Wow that’s not love at all!
  • denycej05: I took some of baron’s advice and got myself together mentally and saw a difference in my attitude and my exe’s and now we are the best of friends and our love is even stronger than before because we have both grown and matured on unimaginable levels. Its abeautiful thing what we have;)....thanks baron..."no spell at all just wisdom":)
  • Queen: Hi. Liked your post Mikey but have been trying to find out how to UNscribe. Will someone please help me with that? Thanks
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