Do You Think Seduction Techniques Can Be Taught?


Techniques and dating are two words I for one, never used together.

I might be wrong or old or both, and not quite with it anymore, but those words still seem like a strange combination to me.

To me, dating meant meeting people in more or less comfortable situations, getting to know them better, and finding out if they were someone I could have a long term relationship with. Of course, long term relationships could mean different things to different people depending on what stage they are in life - it could be anything from bf + gf to a life partner or spouse, and someone to have a family with).

I also know that since the internet came into play, dating has become a much larger industry than ever before. I can understand the various dating sites marketing themselves to get more clients, but, that is as far as I can equate dating with techniques or sales.

Sure, you are trying to “sell” yourself, or put your best foot forward in a dating situation, but do you honestly think you can learn how to do that?

Do you think things like flirting, or seducing people with your eyes can be taught?

In case you are not sure what I am talking about, check out this post on wiki how on how to seduce someone using only your eyes. Image going out to a bar to meet people and then trying to seduce them with your eyes, as demonstrated in this article. Do you take a check list with you to see that you haven’t skipped any of the important stages?

Also, check out this video.

I am curious to know what you think. There is a whole PUA (pick-up-artist) scene out there, which I totally don’t get, and I was wondering does anyone buys into it, and what are the desired results of these techniques? Love? Sex?

photo credit creative commons license andresmh

So... what do you think? Please leave me a comment.


  • iHeartFetishs: Yes it can, I myself learn it and its working really well.
  • itachi: Kinda toughy. Yup. I have used them together. Sometimes work, sometimes doesn’t. My theory is simple. Every person has weakness. You just need to hit that spot and boom! Ball is in your court. Though sometimes its hard to spot it right away. Experience does come into play. Even the failed attempts gets counted. It not only goes to relationships but friendship or any other similiar aspects.
  • Ruth: IHeartFetishs - So what are you after? 1 relationship, as many girls as possible? Would you pick up a casual sex partner differently than you would a girl who you are serious about?
  • gummybears: I can’t see the vid from my phone right now... But in general, YES, seduction techniques work. You said it yourself when you mentioned dating and sales in the same sentence. Dating is sales. Word for word, to the letter.
    Can someone learn how to get more sales? Of course.
    Can someone learn how to get more dates? Of course.
    It’s the same thing. EXACTLY the same.
    It’s numbers. It’s probabilities based on the repetitive behaviours of people.
    I’m going to talk car sales for a momoent...
    In a car dealership people who walk in the door are immidiately split into one of three categories. 15 percent Going to buy on the spot, no schmoozing or beating around the bush. 10 percent will not buy no matter what you do, or the offer you give them. 75 percent are somewhere in the buying process which is about 5-7 days. They are looking to buy but need some persuasion to buy that day.
    A good salesman asks a few very quick questions to find out where people are with regards to buying. Once he finds out that they are the 75 percent... Another process takes over. He does his best to find out their needs, versus what they want, and tries to bridge the gap. Everyemotional hot button is pushed and prodded until they shake hands and they come to an agreement or the person leaves the premisis. Once the person leaves... The chances of getting them to come back, is VERY small. So you have to get them while they are ‘hot’. :)
    Now go back and replace the word buying with dating. And replace car dealership with bar, workplace, dating site, etc. The percentages change with each location but the process remains the same.
    There was a time... Long ago that it bacame easy to pick-up chicks. Lol!
    Ask an woman doing webcam, or providing an *****... They will tell you how easy it is to seduce men.
    Purpose is big here.
    If I’m on a dating site, I want emails. This leads to contact. Contact leads to an in peron meet. The in person meet, leads to find the right person for me. Does the logic that follows this mean that I need to have my profile set-up in such a way as to generate as many emails as possible? Does the logic that follows say that I have a beeter chance to find the right person by implementing said techniques that work for me?
    Sure does.
    You hone the techniques to fit you, and what you are after. You want to attract those who fit our requirements right? Such as non smoker, likes animals etc.
    If I’m looking for sex, then turn on the seduction charms. If I want her to stick around because she’s too nervous, then turn on the seduction charms. If I think she’s going to be a good fit, turn on the seduction charms. Some understand the incerdible power that comes with "romantic love" some don’t understand it, but know it works.
    And it works like a charm most of the time. :)
  • Ruth: Gummybears - I am on board with you as far as putting the right foot forward and showing your best and most attractive side when on the prowl, but don’t you think that the whole pua scene takes it to far? I always get the feeling that what I am seeing is not what I am getting and that the charm is covering up something a whole lot less desirable. That instead of finding someone who is right for you its more about getting notches on your belt?
  • ~Molly~: GB typed all of that off of his cell phone? GYAH!
    I can’t see the video either (work). I will say this. It’s simple actually. If I walk into a bar and a guy comes up to me...and I’m not at all interested, then my looks towards him will be normal, possibly a little short. But if it’s a guy that I’m interested in getting to know better, eyes will be different. My stare will be different. It wouldn’t be anything that I had been taught. It’s something natural. The website tutorial of eye seduction has great tips. But, the thing is, don’t we already do that when we are flirting? And is there a line between flirting and seduction? Is one just an intense form of the other? Are some of us more expressive than others so we don’t need to take classes?
    I ended up asking more questions than stating a solid response. LOL, sorry!
  • gummybears: @ molly - pretty much everything I type here is from my phone now! :D
    @ Ruth - Purpose, Purpose, Purpose.
    Some do it for notches... Yes. But techniques are techniques, learned/taught/natural... People will use them to their advantage... And deteriment.
    It’s a double edged sword as with anything learned and applied.
    We pick up stuff naturally. Like smiling. But we don’t just smile at someone we are attracted every time, nor do we never ever force a smile do we? Lol! A smile is the best forn of seduction, and it can be turned on or turned off. Let’s say you are sitting at your favorite coffee shop and you are in the dumps, not feeling particularly good. After munching your carrot muffin and sipping your latte... A handsome man walks in. You don’t feel attractive, your not ’switched on’ with your full femininity working for you full balst. Yet, you notce the guy standing in line an glances at you. You are interested with this handsome stranger, yet aren’t feeling too happy... But force a little smile as your eyes meet.
    Nowhere inside with all those feelings and thoughts crashing about inside your head does that smile FEEL natural. It’s forced in the HOPE of attraction/seduction.
    If you don’t smile you know that perhaps the "one" for you may just be another lost opportunity...:(
    Two ships passing in the coffee shop. But with the forced smile, the possibility of a spark of conversation may happen that day, or the next time you see each other. Otherwise, a grumpy face erases this memory. We have learned that a smiley face is also a remembered face.
    It’s not full on seduction, to put a notch in one’s belt... But it is a form of seduction used to put the odds in your favor... For whatever your true intent may be.
    That’s why purpose, purpose, purpose is the defining factor. The skills themselves are just tools in a tool box. What are the tools used for is the question.
  • carmella: Yes check on the internet there is a science to seduction and flirting.
  • Ruth: OK, but if all this comes naturally, Why is it necessary to teach it? Would you stand in front of your mirror practicing the glazed, turned on gaze? (Actually I take that back, I used to have a roommate who used to spend all her time at home practicing stuff like that.... the rest of them time she would put it to practice out in the world...LOL) I agree that these are all tools in a tool box, but still I wonder if it needs to be taught and if it is something that can be learned in that way?
  • gummybears: Does it NEED to be taught? Not sure... That’s almost like saying to stay at home and wait for Mr/Ms Right to come and knock on the door. :)
    I’m sure that’s happened to some... But if my perfect match isn’t knocking on the door, this means I have to go out there and go to work... And a toolbox helps when you’ve got work to!
  • ~Molly~: I think it boils down to the actual person who would or would not be using it, if it were taught. I hate to be rude, but...if you remember the girl in the tv show "Ugly Betty?"...her character was portrayed as not great looking, she lacked charisma, and was pretty nerdy. For someone of her nature, I can see where she would need to be taught how to use her eyes when learning how to flirt and/or seduce men.
    On the other hand, take someone like Drew Barrymore. She is stylish, flirty, fun, and social. I doubt she would need to learn the art of using her eyes to pick up a man.
    Would self confidence come into play here? Hmm, good question. Probably so. With that fact being recognized, would someone need to take classes on the how to seduce someone with their eyes...for the right people, I hate to say, but yes. Even though I contradict myself from above, as I personally wouldn’t need to take it. But some girls probably don’t know how to do it, and if they really wanted to pick up a guy, then maybe it has a purpose for being taught. Very interesting theory, which I believe goes right back to the particular person in question, and what they stand to get out of it.

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