How Sex Can Control Your Relationship


We are often faced with situations in our life when we have had great sexual relationships at the beginning of a relationship; talking, spending time together and just being very close in general. Then, after a while having it, all of that fade away. Sometimes women question themselves, thinking “why has he stopped paying attention to me? Am I not attractive enough for him anymore? Is there something wrong with me or it is him?” and much more. Nevertheless, couples start having troubles because of that initial closeness fading.

Let’s look at it more closely. What is truly needed to feel attached and close to your spouse?
Every woman wants to feel loved, desired, sexually attractive.

In many cases, women have a certain “standards” for being in a relationship, such as: how many times during a week a couple should have sex. Once a week is okay, but if they haven’t had it for more than a two or three weeks, it creates anxiety. It makes her feel as if something is wrong. It brings her a sense of vulnerability and lack of structure.

Let’s think about the idea of manipulation through sex. Manipulation through sex is a major part of our society and, because of this, a women fears to lose control over a man when sex is no longer a primary part of the relationship.

On the other hand, there are women who truly want to have a loving, close relationship and really do need sexual contact because through it they derive enjoyment and pleasure. Through this, a woman blossoms, is happy, smiley and, of course, a pleasure to be around.

So, before we start working on ourselves, we need to figure out first what drives us to desire sex. Based on our answer, we need to alter either our actions or our beliefs.

A true relationship is only possible if a woman is enjoying sex as a form of closeness, giving herself without expectations or conditions. Only then will a man desire her as a woman. If she wants to manipulate the relationship through sex, it is not going to bring her her full desires and, therefore, will not help the relationship in any aspect. We all need to learn how to give without wanting anything in return.

Unfortunately, we live in a society that popularizes the importance of money and the importance of the idea “MY way or the high way”. Relationships formed these days are often based on some kind of alterior motive. Because of this, we are left with a society of people who are deathly afraid of any kind of relationship. Media and propaganda have distorted the idea of a relationship to a point that many fail to have a full understanding of what is needed to create a long-lasting relationship.

We all have forgotten how to come home and just hug our spouse – just because. Instead, we expect them to hug us. We don’t buy presents just because, we wait for an event or occasion, and wait for a spouse do the same and so on… Where here do you see love and giving?

Thank you for reading and if you have any questions, comments or suggestions please leave a comment! If you have any personal questions or need advice to messages, my inbox is open to all those seeking advice or a friend.

So... what do you think? Please leave me a comment.


  • Vale: I think women are more prone to use sex as a bargaining chip in a relationship to get what they want rather than than to feel more desirable.
  • Johnny Nicks: Vale what do you want in a relationship?
  • Vale:

    What I want is not really related to this blog :) I don’t condone using sex as a bargaining chip, but nor do I rely on it to determine my self worth.

  • Johnny Nicks: What do you use for self-worth?
  • Vale: Good question, I’m not sure
  • White Panther: Good article.

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