Is It All About The Packaging? How Love Can Surprise You If You Let It


If I would ask any of you right now what would the “love of your life” look like, or be like, I am sure you could all spend at least 5 minutes straight describing them down to the most minute detail. Maybe that is a bit of an overstatement, but you probably have a pretty good Idea of what you are looking for. Tall dark and handsome, or a petite blond?

Sporty, wordy, nerdy, loving caring, carefree, funny, smart - you might have used all those words to describe your ideal partner. You might also have set yourself a list of no-ways: not to short, not to tall, not to poor, not bald, not hairy and so on.

But how do you know that you are going to get exactly what you want, where you want it and how you want it? There is only one answer to that. You don’t.

If you are looking for a love, you need to meet as many people as possible in as many situations as possible. You never really know when or where you are going to meet someone who will blow you away. By surprise.

I think that the only time you are really opening yourself up to meet someone is when you take you list/fantasy of the perfect person for you and completely discard of it.

You might be surprised what you open yourself up to. The love of your life could be lurking right under your very nose without you having noticed or the perfect (imperfect) person for you might be in the “wrong” packaging - too short, too bearded, too fat but just oh-so-perfect!

You might have noticed that I am almost evangelical about getting rid of the lists. I did - and surprised myself with what I was open to. And no. I am not talking about compromise. I am talking about re-evaluating what really is important.

Recently I had a conversation with a friend who had gotten back to an old flame from over 15 years ago. Her main complaint against him at the time was that he was to short. After 15 years of on and off contact, not as a couple but as friends, she decided, in her own words, to forgive him for being short.... last I heard they were madly in love and making a baby...imagine if “over 6 ft” hadn’t been in her list to begin with....

Just something for you to ponder while you dream about Mr/s Right!

photo credit creative common license ogimogi

So... what do you think? Please leave me a comment.


  • itachi: I am not sure about putting the whole list off. It will be dreaming if we think that we should get the person exactly like in the list. But.... This list shouldn’t be a hinder in meeting new people. My strategy was, keep that list and also try to see what the other person offers you. You may find qualities which you haven’t added in the list but added later after knowing them. So.... I think you can be open minded even if you carry a list. Just need to be not picky much.
  • jade: I never ha such list. I suppose I had some kind of a ‘"no way" list but this one was short too. I believe that if I had such list I’d still be looking for my perfect match.
  • Arlene: Itachi - as long as you can keep an open mind... the thing is, people with "lists" often think they are open, but in reality, they are locked into some preconceived notion that might shut off a lot of the options. A list with things like "shares my values" "religion" might be valid, but hair color, height, profession and things that in the end are superficial should be taken of the list, since they have very little impact on life.
  • MollyGoodGolly: I want the guy in the picture above! Oooh Arleeeene?? Can you introduce me to that fine young gentleman??
  • Arlene: @molly, I would love to, but I don’t know him LOL!
  • itachi: So.... I guess we have a model of what molly wants.... I don’t know why but to me, that guy looks creepy. Would have punched if he was infront of me. Don’t know the reason though. Just an instinct.
  • MollyGoodGolly: lol yall...I hope you know I’m not serious.
    Honestly, I don’t think I have a "list" that comes to mind. The only guy that truly set my heart ablaze was tall, dark haired and 8 years older than me, if that counts for anything. This is actually a very useful blog in that it has forced me to review all of my previous special sweeties and compare/contrast them to see what kind of invisible list I might have had. My conclusion? Each and every one were completely different, except for one common characteristic. Each one had an incredible social impact, life of the party you might say, mixed with a lil bit of humor. I guess I’m drawn to "fun". Which makes total sense because I’m a goofball myself.

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