Recovering from an Affair


When a couple is in recovery from an affair there are some things that need to change when you’re in the healing process from an affair. You have to do the work that makes it worth saving your marriage or relationship. There are a few things that need to take place to facilitate healing from an affair. In order for this to work you have to be willing to put forth the effort into doing the work to help heal the scars of an affair. Here are ways to start the healing process:

1. End ALL communication with the other woman/man.

You can’t fix anything with your partner or spouse if you are continuing to see or interact with the other woman or man. It’s time to cease your interaction meaning you delete their numbers, emails, texts, and voicemails. Do not accept any phone calls, emails, texts, or written correspondence. You need to pick a day to sit down and tell the other woman or man that it’s over between you two and you are going back to your partner or spouse to work on your relationship. Make it clear that the other woman or man is not to contact you any further and stress any attempts to contact will be received with phone calls, texts, and emails going unanswered.

2. Remove any reminders of the other woman or man.

Delete any photos you have of them out of your phone, computer or social media page. It’s enough that Facebook helps cheaters hide their internet presence. Keeping reminders of that other man or woman keeps you wanting contact with them and you’re trying to work out your issues with your partner or spouse. Any gifts that the other woman or man has given to you get rid of them because keeping gifts also keep you tempted to contact them when you’re trying to fully break free of them to work on things with your partner or spouse.

3. Listen to your partner or spouses’ needs.

Knowing what’s important to your partner or spouse you want to keep their intimate and sexual needs in mind. Learn to compromise with your spouse or partner when it comes to fulfilling one’s needs. Not everyone likes the same things sexually and part of being in a marriage or relationship is both sides have to compromise as to what the other wants. Many factors come into why many couplut es may not get their sexual needs met that has them seeking out other people to fulfill those needs and those who do end up paying the price of losing their partners and spouses and even producing unplanned children out of these relationships as well.

4. Date your partner or spouse.

Dating does not stop at marriage or a long term thing. What it means to date your partner or spouse is to get to know them as you would when meeting someone, Take your husband/wife or boyfriend/girlfriend out on dates and make time for a date night many couples that make time for their relationship are less likely to deal with infidelity and cheating. Neglect is the biggest reason why so many couples are straying from each other and seeking other people outside of their marriage and relationship for contentment and satisfaction.

5. Remind your partner or spouse daily how important they are to you.

Tell your partner or spouse how much they mean to you. Infidelity is also a potential risk when you don’t show your partner or spouse how much you value and appreciate them. A man or woman feel validated and confident when they hear their partner or spouse telling them they love value and appreciate them. Feeling unappreciated leaves the door to cheating and infidelity wide open for someone to come in and fulfill the role that should be filled by you.

These are just a few things you can do if you’re recovering from an affair and to get back on the road to repairing your relationship with your partner or spouse.

So... what do you think? Please leave me a comment.

QueensLogic is a platinum member at Relationship Talk.


  • Vale: I think your steps 1 and 2 are the most important. The person who cheated needs to close all doors with the person he / she cheated with. If there is still any method of contact or any reminders, then there is always a chance they will go back to that person if things get tough in the relationship again.
  • Duce: I’d just add - also not talk about this person anymore in front of your partner and forgive yourself. If you won’t close it in your head it will hurt your relationship in long run no matter how you try in external things.
  • Vale: @Duce - Forgiving yourself is good advice, I think that’s something that people often forget about
  • Duce: @Vale - Thank you, yes I think that it’s the most difficult thing to do but also the most important one
  • Queenslogic: The most difficult is the one who did the cheating to say their sorry for the pain and damage they cause. My ex boyfriend never apologized for cheating on me despite me being nothing but good to him. I wonder if these men and women out here who cheat on good partners and spouses are even sorry for what they do.
  • Duce: Some of them regret and some don’t. You know, everybody is different. Also depends on why this person (in general) cheated, it doesn’t mean of course that he/she had right to do it or that it is reasonable move (people should communicate about problems in advance definetely) but you know.. every coin has two sides.
    The most important is whether couple want to work on this relationship again or not.
  • SomebodyElse: I think this blog is right on point.

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