The Story Begins...


Three years ago, I fell in love with a married man.

I had known Chi for seventeen years. We shared an avid interest in a subject I won’t name right now, and met at a club devoted to this interest. I’ve now been a member there almost twenty years, and I’m always impressed by the caliber of people who show up there, but Chi and one other man, Simon, both stood out to me as if they had a light over them. Smart...funny...accomplished...handsome...captivating.

At thirty years old, I had never had sex or even had a serious boyfriend yet. I was raised by a mentally ill mother and a father who died in an accident when I was twelve, and I had been very maladjusted socially growing up. I was the kid they pinned the kick me sign on in school until my father died and it made all the headlines. Finally the kids left me alone. But the damage had been done, and I spent my teens and all of my twenties sure no one would ever love me.

Finally I graduated from professional school, started my working life, moved to a new city, made some friends, and decided I might be ready to try meeting someone. “Join a club and meet people who are interested in the same things you are,” was the advice I always heard, so that I did. And I met these two extraordinary men.

Unfortunately, they were BOTH married. So I just went to the meetings and honed my skills at what I wanted to do. I met someone else online, and we had a two-year relationship that ended when he met and married someone else.

Almost simultaneously, Simon’s wife died suddenly, and two weeks later, he asked me out. I could hardly believe it! This guy I thought a million times was my dream guy–Why did he have to be married?–was interested in ME??

Fast forward four years to our wedding. Then fast forward almost seven years of very happy marriage to Simon’s death from a brain tumor.

Sometime during all this, Chi disappeared from the group meetings. All along, I still felt attracted to him and had this strange feeling I’d end up married to him one day, even though I was with Simon and would never, EVER consider leaving him. (What a confusing sensation THAT was!) Once upon a time, Simon and I were lying around discussing others in the group and he told me that, when he let Chi know he was thinking of asking me out, Chi said he wished he could do the same thing.

I remember being overjoyed at that. Both of these guys were so smart, so literary, and so accomplished in their careers, I couldn’t imagine either one of them being interested in me all those years ago. And I had liked them, and they had both liked me! Of course, I was so happy with Simon then, I just went, Oh, well. I guess I’ll never end up married to Chi! But Simon and I both knew Chi’s marriage was unhappy. Chi talked about it at the meetings occasionally. I guess maybe he talked to Simon about it more than me, because during the reveal I’m telling you about, the last thing Simon said about it was, “I hope his marriage got better. That sounded awful!”

Three years later, Simon was gone, and a year into a difficult widowhood, Chi came back to the group.

This blog is the ongoing story of what happened next. I started it elsewhere, but I am in the process of moving it here. Its official title is “All Too Easy: The Blog for the Thinking Other Woman,” but there’s currently no way to give it a title here at this site. (I’ve been told they will be adding that feature soon.)

It is a sad, broken love story. As a cogent lesson in what not to do, it should make you think twice about entering any relationship you know will result in a love triangle. But, more than that, it will give you some fascinating insights into why difficult relationships happen, what we’re meant to learn from them, and some sobering evidence that there really is such a thing as fate, and that we really are born to be on this earth and meet the lovers we meet for a reason.

Welcome to the blog.

So... what do you think? Please leave me a comment.


  • MissValentine: Can’t wait to read more :) very interesting so far.
  • Thinking_Woman: Thanks. I am going to try to post twice a week.
  • Vale: I look forward to reading more too :D
  • Me33: Okay.
    That. Was. Awesome! :D
  • Thinking_Woman: Thank you!
  • A.: Love your writing and how honest it comes put, saddly im living this other woman hell for 5 years
    my life my self my being is shattered , i am a shell of who i used to be :/

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